room for thought

birthdays and staplers and dogs, oh my!

2011-07-06T06:49:00.006-05:00

Apparently, I haven't even logged into my blog since March as there were comments to be moderated. But now there's an awesome reason to revive the blog and post:

Suebob's 50th birthday!

It was 5 years ago that I stumbled on her blog from another internet friend's blogroll and I haven't stopped reading since. S, early on in the relationship, got used to the fact that I talked about all these people whose lives I read but had never met.
And in Chicago in 2009, I did get to meet the wonderful Suebob (never SueBob, it irks her!) and her red stapler. Even though it was broken. Like Laurie, I was a bit intimidated because everyone knows Suebob and who was I? Just a some time blogger who had no business being at a blogging convention, let alone meeting and rooming with one of the coolest gals at the conference. Yet, when I opened the hotel room door for her, it really wasn't like we were meeting for the first time in real life. And that's what's so great about Sue; how welcoming she is, to all.
And I love how much she loves Goldie. She's part of the reason I broke down and adopted Grover, the love of my life. Other people would talk about the hardships of pet ownership and it would give me a second thought, but the love she has for that mutt (& I use that term fondly) is amazing. It shouldn't be considering all the love she has to give for all of her causes. Case in point, her 50 for 50 birthday celebration. Rather than request presents, Sue brought attention to different charities near and dear to her heart for people to send donations if they so choose.
And this is why I love Suebob Davis.
Oh, and because she's cute!

the party don't stop

2011-03-04T13:18:00.004-06:00

The pity party, that is. Harhar!
The stress from S's unemployment dispute being denied (and hoping in some small, traitorous way that he won't appeal the decision, therefore having to go to court and extending my stress, not to mention his) is causing me to end up going out of remission or forming an ulcer. Yay, for more steroids to cure me (& plump me up)! Just as I'd lost a pound or two.
But all is not lost, at least not entirely. Home life in general is fairly decent, S's mom is turning 60 next week and we're having a big celebration for her on Sunday, we got to see my darling baby neice 3 weeks ago and she's cuter than ever (very proud Auntie Em here), getting an awesome Lush package (thanks Suzanne!) and our little fur baby, Grover, turned 2 on the 23rd. That little monster is one of the best things to happen to either of us. Unfortunately, he was a sick doggie on his b-day and we had to pick up some puppy probiotics (go figure!) on the day. He was much improved by the weekend & demolished his new loofah dog from grandma & grandpa.
Another encouraging event, not that I'm the marriage-hungry type, is that S has changed from saying "if we get married" to "when we get married" in the rare conversation. Not that I feel 32, but it's creeping up on me. And it saddens me little sad to say that occasionally looking at wedding stuff online is a little exciting. I've never been that girl, don't really want to be, but I think I would love to have a classy, intimate ceremony and a big reception afterwards. Guess I'm something of a girly-girl deep down after all.

outlook: not so good

2011-02-07T13:08:00.003-06:00

Unfortunately, I'm not talking about the e-mail program. But luckily, I'm also not talking about S's dad's prognosis. Even though he's not doing so well on the chemo and they've had to reduce the dosage. The daily radiation is fine and hopefully will see results.
The problem is that his former employer has disputed his unemployment claim for misconduct (because he swore at his boss's brother after being being called incompetent among other things). So yeah, that's awesome. It means S has to have a conference call with his former boss and a mediator to tell their sides of the story and then see who they judge is in the right. Which is funny because his boss wasn't even in the state when it happened. And I'm not holding my breath that he'll get to come out on the winning side; this'll be awesome for his PTSD/depression.
On a lighter note, I found cheap(ish) plane tickets to visit my darling baby niece and we're headed to the Great North on Thursday afternoon to spend the weekend. It'll be 4 months since we saw her the first time and by the time we do, she might even be crawling. I'm not much of a baby person, and of course I'm totally biased, but she's the most adorable baby!
Well, lunch break is over. Best get back to it since I'm the only breadwinner in the house now. My joking about being a sugar mama has come true! Oh nos!

always more fun

2011-01-21T21:18:00.001-06:00

This getting back on track stuff is hard. I really thought I'd be able to keep up with blogging. That was a good one and it lasted about as long as the average New Year's resolution. Good thing I forgot to make any this year.
At least I'm still going to the gym 5-6 days/week. But I started that trend back in August, so now it's one of those good habits, like making your bed for 2 solid weeks so that it becomes second nature.
Anyroad, enough with the ramble. The whole point of posting again is to whine about recent life. As that seems to be the whole point of my blog at all.
Two weeks ago, S's dad started his radiation and chemo. 2 and a half weeks ago S got fired. Since we were technically DINKs (double income, no kids), does that make us OINKs now? Lots of fun there, what with a mortgage and all. Hopefully some unemployment will come through and we have a little bit of money to tide us to supplement my salary. I may get into more details later. After all, this is my 301st post in 6 years. In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

new year, new you?

2011-01-03T12:23:00.004-06:00

Not really new me. Just more of me. I've apparently put on 20lbs in the last 2 years. This would be since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, but the meds are supposed to keep any weight gain in check. Of course, then there's the moving in with S, plus even more settling in since we bought the house 10 months ago. Not to mention I've been on prednisone for 2 months.
Despite getting my ever-expanding behind to the gym 3 to 5 times every week, I seem to have a problem. I'm going to have to step it up even more in the minutiae that is calorie counting because I am seriously failing at something. And I'm pretty sure it's not that I now belong to a gym. Never in my life have I been a runner, but I actually enjoy the treadmill (to an extent). Maybe it's because I did a 5k in a decent time and didn't explode. Admittedly, it wasn't 100% running, but even 5 minutes at a stretch with intervals of jogging is impressive for me who couldn't finish the mile back in hs in the time required. In fact, I would totally go to the gym twice a day if work didn't hinder me. Mayhap the lottery pool at work will allow me to ramp up my gym activity. (Come on, big money!)
In one week, I should be done with the steroids. *fingers crossed* Hoping there will be no symptoms that lead me to have to start back on them. Maybe then I'll be able to dig in and at least lose 5lbs by my birthday on the 1st. Even 10% of my body weight at this point is a low goal. But I do have a workout buddy & that is some motivation. I always hated the thought of someone seeing me in all my red, sweaty glory, but the high from the workout has diminished my vanity to some extent. Perhaps I'm less concerned in my old age.
So this is my non-resolution, new year's resolution. Get healthy, stay healthy and encourage those around me to be healthy.

while we were away

2010-12-15T12:50:00.000-06:00

So I didn't think anyone would actually notice my absence all that much since BlogHer. But apparently I have been missed. The reasoning behind my silence is the result of numerous things. After I got back from an amazing time in NYC, I joined the new rec center (first ever gym membership for me!) because of the employee incentive of it costing $12.50/month if you go just once a week. We've also been dealing with a plethora of renovation stuff. After almost 4 months of waiting, and sending back a sliding glass door that was incorrectly ordered by the association contractors, we finally had a new deck door in October. With that they had to rip up our kitchen floor because of rotting underneath where the door leaked. Over a month of splinters and walking on plywood, we currently have Durock down waiting on tiling to be completed.
And here's where things get to the bad and the ugly. S's dad is a contractor, who planned to help us. He put down travertine in the half bath and started patching the walls in there over Thanksgiving, but he'd been feeling sick. Two weeks ago Thursday he turned yellow, painless jaundice, and went into acute care that Friday morning. A CT scan showed a mass in his pancreas, he refused to be admitted because his wife was sick and opted to be seen in the clinic where I work that Monday. Pancreatic adenocarcinoma. The size of the mass (3cm) meant it had probably been growing for 2 years. I scheduled him for the necessary procedures with the best docs on Wednesday and Thursday. Spent Wednesday afternoon with S's mom while he was in the procedure. Two days ago they saw the surgical oncologist and Friday they see the rad oncology doctor. From the biopsies they believe he's a good surgical candidate for resection, but they want to use chemo and radiation to try to shrink the tumor as much as possible before they go in to remove it. At the very least the biopsies came back clear that the cancer had not metastasized to his liver.
Pancreatic cancer has something like a 3% survival rate and S's dad is only 60. He's an extremely large presence in all of our lives. My parents live 800 miles away and because S's parents live on the other side of town, they have become my family these past 4 years. Right now all we can do is take it one day at a time and whatever the experts recommend.

for sb

2010-12-15T12:47:00.008-06:00

A few months ago, as a fundraiser for the local animal shelter, the lovely Heather Jahn offered a free photo along with a mini photo shoot for your pet. We are total suckers and took Grover because it is near impossible for us to get pictures of him. (Black dog=bad lighting)
Here is the result:

Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen? Even if he is a total bratface half the time!

um, blogher pt 2?

2010-08-30T12:27:00.005-05:00

guess who never finished her blogher breakdown? (hint: it's me!) too much stuff going on, but not really. things like joining the new rec center ($12.50/month for me & $25/month for s-time to get our butts in shape!), 2nd opinion appointment about my colitis (md told me today he wants more labs because i may have developed autoimmune hepatitis-sweet!) and using extraneous exclamation points! !!
anyway, back to blogher. what i can remember of it, that is. on saturday we hit up breakfast, went to suzanne's panel and i scouted the expo halls again while she did her booksigning. we ended up lunching with another panelist from suzanne's session, which was really an enjoyable lunch. that was when the cranky began because i was really getting sick of so much of everything (perhaps a premature bit of homesickness) & we ended up at dean & deluca so i could bring some chocolates home for s. the afternoon was a big blur and then we met all the cool kids for an indian dinner at vatan, which was amazingly delish. i'm sure i'll forget someone, but liz rizzo, zandria, sassy monkey & her fake husband, suebob, suzanne and a couple fun people i met for the first time were there. appetizer course had so many delightful treats and you could have second helpings of whatever you wanted, then they brought out the main course, which was the same way. a large round tray with like a classy, metal cafeteria tray with space for each item. it was at that point that i realized my gap jeans had decided to part ways with me. either that or the fat on my thighs had finally rubbed together so much that they were near to starting a fire because a small (read substantial) hole developed on my left inner thigh. now admittedly, i wear my long & leans 2-3 times a week, not all day, but quite a bit for the past 18 months since i bought them. and gap material quality has gone downhill in the past few years (much thinner fabric), so it could be a combination of a number of factors. by the time we had our subway adventure, the cheezburgher party, sparklecorn and the paperbag-hatted walk home to await my shuttle, the hole was at an embarrassing point. and lo, it only got bigger as i packed and stayed up with suzanne for my 3am shuttle pick-up.
but i was glad to get home, no matter how much fun i had and i absolutely can't wait until next year or whenever i get together with all the rest of you beautiful people.

blogher-licious: breakdown

2010-08-09T21:12:00.003-05:00

here we go: on thursday, much too early, s & i left for the aeroporto and thanks to construction, i ended up getting to security at 6:20 for a flight that was set to leave at 6:45am. almost died and security took pity on me as the only person scurrying through (totally forgot to take out both my laptop & my baggy of liquids, der!)
thankfully, the rest of the trip was fine, besides picking up the supershuttle and listening to the couple next to me discuss how coney island and long island were both islands in nyc and they were pretty sure people didn't live there.
got to suzanne's, picked up my key, gave tycho bunnae a pet and walked to central park to get a metrocard. why i decided on a 7 day unlimited pass beats me.
suzanne met me to drop her stuff and we headed to the hilton, where i met the darling suebob and we headed out for dinner, while suzanne went to the ce dinner for blogher editors. as suebob and i looked for sustenance, s (so many esses in my life!) texted me that he was playing with puppies at the rescue and sent me a pic, to which he responded when asked whose it was: 'ours' i about flipped out. we have enough on our hands with grover as it as, much as i want another puppy.
paninis eaten and meeting up with a friend who moved to nyc a couple years ago outside the hilton, it was time to head to the people's party. in the huge ballroom, i instinctively headed towards suebob's tulle/tutu making table for a bit. making the circuit of the ballroom on the way back to the table, i ran into the famous jonna, who hugged me and asked what my plans were, party-wise & whatnot. sadly, that was all the jonniker-action i got, even though i kept seeing her throughout the weekend and i'm sure she thought i was stalking her because people i was with/around kept trying to catch up to her (ie suebob, sassymonkey).
come friday, suzanne & i went to breakfast and drove at least 3 separate sets of people away from our table during the opening welcome. then time for the expo halls, where we got loaded down with swag. dropping it off at suebob's room in the sheraton, we barged in on sb catching up on sleep and in her skivvies (ooh-lala!). lunch and the sex session with @avflox, who then roomed at suzanne's apartment with us after eating druze cuisine at gazala place. this was, of course, after the community keynote and voices of the year gala. we were all concerned about how the posts would translate into art. when suzanne finally saw her art, some of the comments seemed inappropriate as the posts and art seemed a bit disparate. (someone had posted "joyful" under the photo for her post about her grandfather and the holocaust) while there i saw suebob in a grouping with a cute redhead and stroller, wherein i was introduced to lawyerish. i felt like a bit of a douche because i'd read her blog from jonna's, but then when it was password protected & back to an open blog, i didn't start reading again. and hoo boy, what i've missed! she's adorable and oh-so amusing and her babeh is gorgeous.
so the 3 of us, suz, av & i, geeked out early on friday night & surfed the internet at the apartment the rest of the night.

more to come...

renovations

2010-08-03T20:29:00.004-05:00

s & i have been discussing our options for the bathroom(s) and what to do with them. since s's dad is a contractor, we're hoping to get an in for first-hand knowledge of what (and what not) to do.
the full bath definitely could use a complete overhaul: new tub, tiled surround and floor, new toilet and sink top. it also looks like we're going to do something with the half-bath on the main floor. there were these bizarre shelving units in the 3'x7' half bath. shelving behind the toilet that ran from floor to ceiling, fine. but it is also on the sink/mirror side, basically boards running top to bottom, but no shelves. last week s pulled them down on the sink side and we'd like to get some tile down and maybe a pedestal sink to make it look a little bigger. his best guess (& wildest hopes and dreams) is that we can do both bathrooms for $1000 or less. i laughed at him. it certainly would be nice to get everything done on such a low budget, but i'll believe it when i see it. any suggestions appreciated!
first things first, we're still waiting on the condo association to arrange our deck door replacement. they have cashed our $500 deposit to order the sliding door.
huh, first world problems, for sure!

yippee skippy!

2010-07-29T12:53:00.003-05:00

so to go along with my excitement for blogher next week, apparently i won a gift certificate to p&g. suh-weet! i'm already thrilled about seeing all my peoples and meeting some new ones, reconnecting with the folks i met last year, the parties, the swag, the sessions! only one week from today & i'll be there. only 2 more full work days, too.
speaking of work days, i'll only be working a half day on friday because s asked me to come with him to the sending off ceremony of his old battalion. the 832nd are being deployed to afghanistan and i'm glad to be able to take the morning off to wish them a safe journey. it also happens to be the largest deployment of iowa soldiers since wwii. both s & my brother were in iraq with combat engineer battalions and i am so glad that neither of them will be sent back again. s was out as of january this year and my brother decided not to re-up after my sil found out she was pregnant.
here's to the brave soldiers: we support you!

wow, that devolved into a pretty serious and sappy post. i'll be sure to keep it more peppy the next time.

travel-ish

2010-07-25T18:27:00.002-05:00

in two weeks i'll already be back from nyc and blogher. new york is a nearly unexplored city for me, so i'm hoping to pack in as much as possible. at the least i want to check out grand central terminal, for some more up-close research on my bip that i haven't worked on in over a year. especially now that my laptop is working again. my only real concern about the trip is getting from lga to manhattan and finding my way around the city the times i'm on my own. oh, and not having enough hours in the day
at the end of september, we're planning to get up to nodak to meet my adorable little niece. i might be comfortable holding her since she'll almost be 3 months old. if nothing else, s loves holding little babies (ones he can give back, not his own!) and i can spoil her rotten. we might even have enough for 2 free flights on delta. amazingly, minot now has more than one airline that flies in, which makes less of an iron grip on getting in and out. international airport, my left big toe! but i can't wait to meet baby sophia!

moving week

2010-07-24T18:11:00.000-05:00

not moving emotionally, more physical moving. on monday, we drove back down to iowa from the twin cities after s's g-ma's 85th birthday celebration at a twins' game. it was a huge family affair with almost all of his mom's relatives there. on saturday we had a pool party at one of his aunts' houses and all the aunts, who are notoriously judgemental, asked s's brother when he was going to buy a ring for his gf, who was also there. nice, since s & i have been together twice as long, but hey "when the aunts like someone, they like someone" yay for me!
on tuesday, back at work, getting back from lunch, i find that my phone is gone. not to worry, not my cell phone. i mean my work phone. apparently, while i was gone the dial tone stopped as my coworker was using it. she called telecommunications to see what was going on & they suggested maybe the cord was loose. oh no, apparently even that department doesn't communicate with each other because one of the guys had moved it back to where our new office is. at least we kindof knew that the move was coming some time in the near future and that we wouldn't have much notice. the rest of the day i had a computer, but no phone unless i stretched across to the check-in desk.
about midmorning wednesday, my boss's supervisor came by and we unplugged my computer and everything and else and carried it down the hall to bfe where the new office is located. there will be 4 of us in that room, including my boss who has had her office moved 4 times in the last 5 years because the new doctors need offices.
thursday was great, fully functional and moved in. i felt like i accomplished a great deal of work, even though we're still extremely far behind.
and then, my boss calls on friday morning saying she'll be late because her boyfriend is in the emergency room. in california. okay... she didn't call her own boss until afternoon and i ended up staying over an hour late. at least my bank account will appreciate it.

suck it!

2010-07-15T18:08:00.005-05:00

man, do i suck at this! going to blogher in 3 weeks and i haven't put up more than 2 posts in the last 2, oh, make that 3 months. yeesh!
i'd like to say that work (boss has been mia off and on since the beginning of the year & we've had 3 new people to train. guess who most of that responsibility falls on?), the (town)house (so many more places to get messy that need picking up!), the puppy (stop sleeping on our bed! 2 goodly-proportioned adults & a 25lb dog do not fit well on a full-size bed) and my health (after 9-ish years, my gi doctor no longer knows what to do with me & wants to either pass me on to mayo clinic or another large hospital because he's exhausted all treatment options for me with my gi-induced excruciating joint pain) are all to blame.
weee! what an interesting life i/we lead. thought i would be able to get back into the swing of things and work more on my bip, revising and whatnot. possibly even working on the 2nd book in the series that i started just after finishing up with the draft of the first one. or maybe even getting down to the nitty-gritty and submitting to publishers. yeah, right!
but that doesn't mean things aren't going swimmingly here in i-o-way. in fact, despite the work stress, house stress, health stress i feel in a good place. life really truly is good and i can't wait to see my ladies in nyc! so excited!
more again soon; i promise.

new title

2010-07-08T07:07:00.002-05:00

am officially an auntie! baby sophia was born at 6.03am and weighs 6lbs 8oz and is 19.5 inches long. can't wait to see a picture, even if we won't get to actually see her until probably thanksgiving time if we can get away.
congrats to my brother and sil and my parents, first-time grandparents! yay!

revelation

2010-05-14T07:02:00.004-05:00

on sunday, we went out to dinnerr for mother's day with s' family. on the way there, i found out one of the major factors as to why s doesn't want to get married. not that i'm actually in all that much of a rush.
he comes from a big italian catholic family; there are 4 kids and his mom has 6 brothers and sisters. while we driving to the restaurant, he told me that he would not be the first child to get married from his family because that would require huge festivities. for years, i have been saying how i would like to elope and maybe have a good-sized reception shortly thereafter. i've got a pretty big family too, but my brother did the big fancy party, so that gets me out of it. besides, my parents always told me, even when i was fairly young, that they were going to get me a ladder for my wedding. nevermind the cliches about eloping have the bride climbing out the window and the fact that my room was in the basement when i lived at home.
at least now i know what some of qualms about getting married have very little to do with me. and his older brother is in a serious relationship and s said that he would love to have a big wedding, which perhaps means there's something for us in the near/not-so-distant future. that's good because neither of his sisters has ever been in a serious relationship, even the one who's 6 months older than i am. so there is hope for me after all!

in the saddle

2010-05-09T09:21:00.003-05:00

this is yet another (hopefully not in vain as it's been over a month since my last blog post) attempt to rejoin the blogosphere. work has been more than a pain lately (case in point, i received a text message from my boss on thursday at 5 to 8am that she was on her way to california & wouldn't be back until unofficially leaving me in charge. also friday was supposed to be the last day for a coworker who started in february, but then was poached by one of the clinic doctors as a research assistant; she only committed to working as a scheduler for a year when she started because she was eventually going to grad school. not cool.)
despite the pressures of the 'real world' and not winning the lottery (how many times must a i hear 'you have to play to win!), i would like to resume working on my bip and possibly getting back into the swing of blogging. the new house seems to have drained any ambition from me once i get home from the daily grind, but i don't consider that to be too much of a bad thing. we've now lived here for over 2 months and it was such a good decision! i barely remember the apartment i spent 8 years in; this feels so much like home. we still have yet to put anything on the walls, but we now have grown-up living room furniture (an awesome entertainment console, new couch, chair-and-a-half and a beautiful matching ottoman). next step is to clean up the 2nd bedroom, which has become the catch-all room. and we're saving our change and recycling money to buy an actual bed/headboard set. whee! we're grown-ups. sortof.

tgif

2010-04-03T09:59:00.004-05:00

even though it's no longer friday (whew! saturdays are so much better as there is no getting up and going to work involved), i'm still glad i made it to friday.
this past week was okay, but the last two weeks at work were complete torture. my boss always takes spring break week off to visit her bf, the plastic surgeon, in la. fine, we knew that and the new girl was aware, but then we found out that both boss & new girl were going to be gone that friday, leaving 2 to do the job of 4. my coworker and i managed to get through the day since half the docs were gone leaving the clinic almost manageable. whew! crisis averted, or so we thought. come monday morning (almost 2 weeks ago now), we show up to discover that boss has an 'emergency' and isn't going to be back that week and no idea when she will be back. not that she bothered to inform us or even be in contact. and the coworker who'd helped me on friday was off half wednesday and all thursday and friday because she was getting a colonoscopy. that left new girl & i alone for two full days and she hadn't even been working in the clinic for much more than a month. what the h#ll!?!? that means we got 30 minutes of break in a 9 hour day (rather than leave the other person alone for a full hour to answer phones, schedule patients at the desk & try to complete orders and paperwork). and these were full clinic days, not slow spring break days.
finally our retired administrator, who came in to inform us that our boss was gone, said that boss would be back tuesday this last week and forwarded us the e-mail. the e-mail she forwarded? boss's out of office message that she'd set up when she originally left for spring break and intended to be back on tuesday the week she was out for 'emergency'! argh!
so apparently something bad went down with bf or his practice or something. and boss showed up on monday, didn't really say anything to us, so we're still in the dark. when one of the receptionists asked if everything was okay she got all teary, then pulled herself together, but didn't say a word about why she was gone or thank us for keeping the place from completely falling apart without her. oh! it still makes me steam! i do understand that 'something' happened and i'm sorry for her for that, but she didn't even really acknowledge the position she put us in at all.
or maybe i'm just being a b#tch...

disowned

2010-03-30T21:30:00.004-05:00

i realize it's been over a month since i last posted & i really meant to post something sooner, but work has been hectic and on the weekends we're exhausted.
so my parents were here this weekend, which was great. i enjoyed having them here and it wasn't inordinately stressful like it can be. they got home tonight after their 800 mile trip that started yesterday and called me back to say they'd arrived (since i'd called them a couple times on the home & cell phones). dad told me they'd stopped to see my great aunt ida, his mom's sister who is in her 90s. i knew i shouldn't have asked and i held my tongue for a while as he described their visit. finally, i couldn't hold back anymore and said, "what happened to herman?" they had been married for something like 65 years and when they moved into assisted living it was nice because it was right across the street from the house they'd lived in for 50 years, so they were in the same neighborhood.
dad's response, "herman died in november." and i can hear mom in the background yelling that it was january. january 13.
um, that's more than 6 weeks ago. i had even asked for their address to send them a christmas card. i am so upset.
"we thought we told you" was their response.
'cause that's such a good excuse. i don't live in the same town so i'm not enough a part of the family to even need to know that someone passed away. if they get around to it, then they'll tell me. and this isn't the first time this has happened. relatives die, have babies or get married. and i'm the last to know, like it's my fault i didn't stay 5 miles from where i grew up.
i'm very hurt and i don't even know what i'm supposed to do to fix this. they're more than aware how this makes me feel. i haven't held back before, but apparently it hasn't sunk in to them yet.

5 years

2010-02-23T07:12:00.001-06:00

today is grover's first birthday. can't believe my baby puppy is a whole year old and that we've had him for almost 10 months. (at the moment, he's hanging over the arm of the couch and digging through his toy box for something else to play with.)
i also realized that i missed my 5 year blogiversary. apparently i started blogging in january of 2005. whoa! that's kindof unbelievable. and it makes me think i'd better get back on this blogging horse for the umpteenth time. perhaps i'll have something of a portfolio or theme by the time blogher rolls around. or at least get back to work on my book i haven't touched in over a year. yowza! bad mar!

wow!

2010-02-21T21:56:00.004-06:00

so apparently s arranged with my mom to buy me tickets to blogher '10. i just filed his taxes this afternoon and went to check my e-mail before bed. i saw 2 confirmation e-mails for my tickets with my parents' e-mail address. mom said i'd better ask s about it. pretty much spent his whole tax refund because i do things for him all the time. and so, besides buying the plane ticket, i guess i'm gonna be crashing at suzanne's place. good thing she knows i don't snore.
that explains why he kept asking me when the early bird deadline was. aww....

some things, recently

2010-01-23T11:15:00.005-06:00

s is the best. yes, indeedy. despite the many times (each day) i want to smack him for tapping his foot or my leg or any other repetitive motion, he is the bestest. earlier this week, when i did my taxes (yes, i filed my taxes on mlk day), i mentioned that i wasn't so sure how the whole blogher thing was going to fit in our budget, what with the whole buying a house business and whatnot.

he looked at me, quite sincerely, and said, "we'll make it work out somehow because you had so much fun this summer meeting people and it made you so happy."

is that not the sweetest thing? and having done my taxes, i have enough money from my refund to pay the registration fee and take care of my car tags (almost $200!!! why is it so expensive? i drive a frickin' toyota! a2005 camry is not a luxury car by any stretch. nor was my 2001 passat george and that was maybe $10 cheaper. ouch!) with a tiny bit left over for a rainy day emergency. that was exciting news on monday night and i was looking forward to an extended stay in nyc longer than a layover.

but now i'm still a little up in the air about being able to go because even more shiz is going down on this whole house thing. friday we were supposed to have the financing in place according to our offer to the seller and the bank was aware. all day i was giving myself an ulcer waiting to hear from the loan officer, getting calls & e-mails from our realtor asking if i'd heard anything yet because the clock was ticking down. all for naught (not?), right? oh no, the underwriters didn't sign off on it because we are short $$$ for the closing costs. you know, the closing that isn't happening for another month! between us we'll be getting 3 more paychecks from now to then. and guess how much we're short? oh, the exact amount of my tax refund. how serendipitous!
so that's all fine and dandy, but they still won't approve the financing until it's in the account. the realtor has me sign an extension request for 1 week to get the financing finalized. 1 lousy week, just until next friday. and my loan officer is best buds with the seller's realtor, so he's like no problem, he'll understand and everything'll be copacetic.

nope, the seller is still freaking out as far as i know and hasn't signed the extension because he has less than 5 weeks until he closes on the other house he's buying. actually, he's closing the same day we're closing. so despite his realtor explaining that this is a minor glitch (the money will be there next week one way or the other because my parents will either wire it to us until my refund comes back or the refund should be in the bank next week anyway) and things like this happen on occasion. if he backs out now, we're screwed and there's no way in h-e-double hockey sticks he's going to find another buyer willing to pay the same amount and get financing in place in less than 5 weeks. the place was on the market for over 2 months and no one nibbled until we looked at it and eventually made an offer a month after our first showing.
this morning we had to head over to coldwell to sign a revised statement saying that the financing is only contingent on the closing costs, which will be in place this week, and now we have to wait to hear if the seller's agent can talk him into agreeing and signing our week extension. hopefully he'll call by this afternoon to say things are back on track and we can wait until the bank gets its act together and comes through with the money.

and i haven't even mentioned the fact that the week before last my doctor diagnosed me with hypothyroidism, my fave coworker accepted a nursing position at the other hospital, our clinic administrator is retiring the same day coworker is leaving, s's old unit is being deployed again to iraq and tomorrow is his official last day in the military so i have to bake brownies, my/pioneer woman's sweet potatoes and make peaches & cream salad for the party. whew! guess i'll save something for another day because the monster needs to go out now.

all the waiting

2010-01-10T08:45:00.002-06:00

this is the interior courtyard picture from the realtor. the garage is below this and faces the street.
basically the reason i've been quiet, besides not having anything interesting to say, is because of all the business going down over the purchase of our (town)house. on friday, after accepting the sellers' counter-offer just before christmas, they accepted our remedy requests, which were pretty limited considering the number of piddly things found on inspection. now we're just waiting for the bank's appraisal and funding and closing is set for february 26. less than 7 weeks from now. i guess we'd better start packing everything we don't use daily. yay! our own washer and dryer, our own garage, dishwasher, deck, 2 bedrooms and 1 1/2 bath! it's like i'm/we're grown-up!

disappeared

2009-12-15T07:12:00.002-06:00

yep, there i go again, falling off the edge of the earth. and for over a month this time. not blogging is starting to get as bad as not working on my book. it's been just over a year since i had my first submission and subsequent rejection. i didn't realize at the time how symbolic that would be.
anyhoo, where i've been is working on finding a place to live. you know, an actual home that i/we own. hopefully finding out today from the bank about preapproval for a mortgage. scary, grownup stuff that i'm not sure i'm ready for right now. s is excited about it. i guess that leaves me with the role of eternal pessimist. our credit's not good enough, who would give us money, yada, yada.
it all started with me looking at properties online while we were in vegas mid-november. vegas was an awesome time with lots of eating and walking and looking at things. and apparently an anniversary trip was what s needed to make more of a commitment (ie the house thing-not like he proposed or anything, which apparently some of my friends find to be even more of a commitment than getting engaged)
my parents are kind enough to be giving us 10% down. they know i'm never going to want or have the kind of extravagant wedding that my brother did. (and i always thought the bride's family was expected to make the larger contribution-not that i think that's right.)
i've been waiting since friday to hear from the bank and i guess they're kindof backed up. supposed to find out this morning at the latest according to the loan officer s talked to yesterday afternoon. wish us luck!

the horror of friday the 6th

2009-11-06T08:46:00.003-06:00

nobody ever talks about the bad luck present on friday the 6th. usually i'm more a proponent of booing monday the 13th. a combination of garfield, a case of the mondays and triskaidekaphobia.
so this morning has been a real treat thus far. it started when i took grover out this morning and i nearly concussed myself. i bent over to take off his collar in the entryway and when i stood up, bashed my head on the stair railing. this, of course, was not enough of a way to begin the day. while attempting to dab some rubbing alcohol on the bruised spot, i oversaturated the cotton ball and dripped a big drop in my eye. as i'm flailing around, my major concern is dumping over the nearly full bottle on the counter and yell at s to come help me. eventually i managed to rinse my eye out and it only stings a little now. on the way out the door to work, i bent over to pick up grover and put him in his crate and i heard a ripping/popping noise. yep, split my pants. admittedly, they’re over 10 years old and very well worn, but that doesn’t make me feel much better.
if this is how friday the 6th is, can you imagine what traveling on friday the 13th will be like next week? don't even want to know what else is going to happen today! hopefully i won’t have anymore updates.

weirdness

2009-10-21T06:40:00.005-05:00

the past couple days, really only one or two, i've posted on my facebook status about being a little sore from working out. starting a regimen that includes squats and lunges, along with push-ups will do that to you when you've been sedentary & packed on 10lbs in the past couple months. (another reason i haven't posted much lately: too roly-poly to belly up to the computer)
yesterday in the middle of work, my phone buzzes on the desk with a text message. "you're going to make fat fucks like me look bad" from the ex-bf. i was confused, but figured it had to do with my fb status and went about my business until lunch. then i took a closer look. he'd actually sent a longer text before that that i hadn't noticed, rambling on about if my workout was a wii workout or a real one, what was i getting in shape for and why did i need to do that because i was "looking great" at the wedding where we last ran into each other in april. thought that was really odd & vaguely flirtacious, so i brushed it off with a reply about getting in fighting shape for vegas. immediate response: are you and the bf going down to vegas to elope?
yeesh! if we were, i wouldn't tell you. as my lunch was over i waited to respond again and just told him we're not eloping.

then he posts this on fb last night: ~~Axxx Nxxx~~ Its not funny at all how regret kicks you in the balls in a very non subtle way. FML.

which may be in regards to me if that doesn't make me vain. it's been more than 4 years! i know it took me a long time to get over him & now i realize i was an idiot, but he broke up with me! more than once! of course he's a moron because i'm an amazing woman, but move on with your life.

on another end of the spectrum, we're now contemplating a cruise for the fam for my parents' 35th anniversary next june. any recommendations on cruise lines to avoid or try? we're looking for something reasonable, the sis-in-law definitely wants beaches/sun and 5 days because 4 is too short. and she's the only one who's ever been on a cruise before, 3 times.

halloween costume ideas & absenteeism

2009-10-17T20:09:00.006-05:00

yep, been mia for a while now, at least here on my own blog. sorry for the lapse, but there's even more of nothing to write about lately. life is pretty dull, only thing that's been going on is the monotonous day-to-day of work & then nothing of interest when i get home.
we are going to vegas in about 4 weeks so any suggestions or ideas for must-see, must-do, must-eat are welcome.
also, s & i are invited to a halloween/housewarming party on the 30th, so trying to come up with some costume ideas. i wouldn't even bother, but the invite reads "Halloween costumes strongly recommended; if you do not wear one, one will be provided for you." which frightens me. here are some of the ideas i've been tossing around:

salt & pepper
jack & jill
plug & socket
mac 'n cheese
pumpkin pi
a salt & battery
hansel & gretel
pair of dice
hurry up & wait
almond joy & mounds
upper & lower gi
lady & the tramp
burger king & dairy queen
spoon & fork
sick & tired
war & peace
peace & quiet
princess & the pea
nuts & bolts

(if you need to inquire as to what any of these actually involve, just ask.)
lunch break is almost over & i'm working 8 to 6 today because i'm leaving early for some errands on wednesday & we're now required to work late one night a week because apparently no one returns calls to schedule appointments between the hours of 8-to-5 despite numerous messages. they're hoping we'll catch people at home from 5 to 6 and get them scheduled. ha! didn't work the last two times we tried it, but hey, they're all about beating a dead horse.

end of the line

2009-09-10T19:08:00.006-05:00

when suz & i hit up the social luxe lounge before blogher, we signed up to receive a free sweater from lands' end, to be shipped at a later date. of course, that date ended up being the week i was in nodak for my brother's wedding. by the time i got home, ups had already given me 3 notices and shipped it back. i called ups, they told me nothing could be done until it arrived at the shipping point. i e-mailed lands' end and customer service told me they had no record of it since i hadn't made an actual order. they said they'd get back to me when i gave them the tracking number. nothing, not a peep from them & that was 2 weeks ago.
yesterday, i received a mass e-mail from lands' end's pr person about a new campaign to blog (or tweet) called good feelings. if you post about the campaign, they'll donate a cone of yarn for each post to knit hats for the homeless and enter you for a chance to win their new good feelings line. i'm going to imbed the knitting video as soon as my connection stops freaking out.
i really want to learn how to knit. i've got basic crocheting down, but have never been able to master knitting.
anyroad, the point of this e-mail was how cool lands' end has been. i e-mailed the pr person back about my returned sweater & she responded immediately that she had my sweater right there & was going to send it back to me. they didn't know if i'd moved or what since it was returned by ups. sweet! now suzanne & i can be twinsies for next year's blogher!

leper?

2009-08-30T16:41:00.003-05:00

a few months ago, i noticed this rash on my left elbow crease. sometimes it was itchy & red and other times it would disappear. then a little over a month ago, i saw it was on both elbows. then it migrated to the backs of my knees, almost like i pushed too hard and gave myself razor burn. you know how that stings?
oh yeah, and the other embarrassing thing is that the top of my bum has also been dry & splotchy for about that same period of time.
so now, in addition to all those locations, it's itchy and painfully red at my armpits. not really the pits, but the back part of my arm & also just to the side of where the bra strap goes.
last week i made an appointment with the dermatologist, but it was for september 21. i asked to be placed on the cancellation list & they called me friday just before 5pm with an opening for monday morning. after talking with both my rheumatologist & gastroenterologist, they don't think it's anything to do with my gi or arthritis stuff. the problem is, i think it's exacerbated after my remicade infusions. i no longer break out in hives while i'm infusing, but this rash seems to show up in more places after i infuse.
last night i asked s to apply calamine to the afflicted areas & asked him what his rash was when we met 3 years ago. as i asked i remembered.
"oh yeah, you had nickelitis from the change in your pockets, right?"
"yep, that's what it was & also behind my ears from my metal glasses," he replied.
"well, i haven't been rubbing change behind my armpits. and despite it being called a coinslot, i haven't been keeping change in my &$$ crack, so i doubt that's what it is," i told him.
he busted up & agreed. we finally settled on leprosy. i'm not melodramatic or anything.

home/wedding trip pt iii: the big event

2009-08-30T07:13:00.004-05:00

now 2 weeks after the fact i'll get around to posting about my brother's wedding.
saturday saw mom & i headed to the jcpenney salon to get our hair done. it took an hour and 15 minutes for the woman to put up all of my hair. i think it turned out okay.

(that's my old bedroom, by the way)
we were supposed to be at the zoo/park for pictures by 11.30am and i still had to run back to the house to put on my dress and do my makeup. barely made it in time, but at least i wasn't the only late one. i felt awkward because i didn't know any of the girls except from the rehearsal the night before, besides my future s-i-l.
pictures, pictures, then the church. ceremony. as happened at my cousin's wedding (his little boy made the cutest ringbearer), the unity candle went out from the draft in the church. i always wonder if that's a bad omen?
receiving line with bride & groom, so i was accosted by old acquaintances, parents of friends & relatives while we waited for the 250 plus guests to file out. it actually wasn't so bad. i haven't lived there in 10+ years, not really. and as much as i love talking to people (heavy on the sarcasm of course), no one asked me any uncomfortable questions. maybe it was because i brought s home this time. he's the only bf i've ever brought home. then again, he's really the only serious relationship i've ever had (less a from when i started writing this thing).
so we hopped into the limo bus & started cruising the strip, broadway. adult beverages flowed & i got to chatting with one of the groomsmen who was in iraq with my brother. that was pretty cool.
reception was a whirlwind. pasta bar, sit at the wedding party table(s, 2 because there were 16 of us total). i ended up moving to sit with s & the parentals, then chatting with old classmates who are friends of my brother & old family friends. s & i migrated to my aunt & uncle (mom's brother)'s table & after the first dance, we pretty much headed upstairs to the hotel room & crashed by 1am. missed quite a bit of the festivities. no idea who caught the bouquet or any of that.
we ended up driving all the way home after the first couple gifts were opened at the homestead. we got in at about 3am on monday morning & crashed since neither of us had to work that day. it was a really awesome day off with dogpark & other leisurely activities before we had to get back to the real world.
s said he had a fun time, so that made the trip for me.

home/wedding trip pt ii

2009-08-23T20:37:00.004-05:00

we left off at wednesday night & safely arriving at my parents' house. i took grover out to pee and play with nikki. nikki is almost 3 and a black lab. my mom likes to joke that she's so open-minded because she has two black grandchildren. a little later in the morning, while s was still sleeping, dad had me get on the trailer and go for a ride with the puppies.

mom made us waffles for brunch and then we had to go get fitted for our dresses. she had hers made by a seamstress who graduated hs the year before me and had just 'eloped' with her bf, who used to be my brother's best friend when they were kids, exactly one week before. my bridesmaid's dress was disgustingly tight, but then i'd ordered a 12. sara managed to get it zipped up (hey, working in theatre, you can get anyone into their costume). she said she'd let it out as much as possible, so i could hopefully breathe.
s & i went to eat a late lunch around 2pm at homesteaders', a place i insisted on eating in hopes that they had their divine wheatberry salad on the salad bar. sadly, all they had was something like glorified rice only with acini de pepe (sic?). it was still tasty & i introduced s to knephla soup. yum!
i'll try to cut this boring stuff short. we hit the mall to look for shorts for s & a supportive undergarment so i could squeeze into the dress. more family time after that, including making bars for the rehearsal dinner the next night.
friday i helped my aunt (pronounced aw-nt, not ant) make her famous beans. s's family calls them calico beans & they flew off the table that night. the giant crockpot was completely empty. s & i went to see 'the time traveler's wife' in the early afternoon to get some alone time. it wasn't too bad, but i don't know how anyone who hadn't read the book to follow the story.
i'll finish up this dull account with the rehearsal and wedding day tomorrow.

home/wedding trip pt i

2009-08-23T19:40:00.005-05:00

finally getting around to regaling all 3 of you with our trip to north dakota last weekend.
it all started with my remicade infusion on tuesday. things were going well until i decided to snooze in the chair. i must've pulled the iv when i turned because after 20 minutes, i felt something wet on my shirt. at least insurance pays for it because there was probably over $100 of liquid on my shirt if not more. they had to stop & replace the iv in a different part of my arm, so i didn't finish until 3.30. s was off work by then & he hadn't even packed yet. that stressed me out. then, he wanted to find a cord in our storage unit before we left town. by the time we left iowa city it was 5pm, so we grabbed sonic for the road.
grover was amazingly good in the car and napped on our laps. i realize it's probably not the safest way to travel with a puppy, but he would've cried if we'd locked him in his kennel in the backseat. the drive was fairly uneventful and we decided it would be funny to buy powerball tickets in all 3 states before the next drawing on wednesday the 12th. (that was a total bust.) we arrived at grandma m's house in st paul around 10pm. brought the monster inside along with our stuff and she tells us that she's allergic to dogs.
great, no one bothered to tell us. s's mom, her eldest daughter, didn't say a thing. grandma said it was okay & we headed to the basement to cram ourselves into a twin bed. (there are 2 beds, but that's what we did when we stayed 2 years ago, too)
wednesday morning, i got up at grover's whimpering need to go outside & we took a nice long walk around the block. grandma m has lived in the same place in st paul for over 50 years. the highway is right over the barrier, but it's a cute neighborhood.
the second leg of the trip, we grabbed breakfast on the road and headed for fargo. i had big plans to stop at great harvest bread company where i worked in college. i needed some potato dill bread (great for grilled cheese) and cinnamon chip (awesome french toast!). we got erberts and gerberts subs, then met my friend e who just opened his chiropractic clinic in the last month. we brought the puppy up in the elevator and chatted for a little before driving some more.
the next to last stop was in bismarck to see our friends, t & n. their wedding was the reason we'd stayed at grandma m's 2 years before and i'd barely seen them since they moved back to t's home in bismarck. first we stopped at n's work, then t convinced us to drive over to his parents' to meet his nephew. grover came in to say hello too and get a much needed drink of water.
two more hours on the road (for a total of 11 hours on wednesday). we stopped at the church in minot where my mom & future s-i-l were setting up for the ceremony. we grabbed a pizza on the way home to my parents' house while mom finished decorating & keeping out of the way of my brother's future m-i-l.
at home, my dad and his youngest sister and her husband were there. my aunt & uncle have been staying there as they took the summer off from texas to see their family and travel in their rv.
grover met his cousin nikki and they had a good time playing together. after such a long day, we headed to bed.
i'll finish this up in another post or two. with pictures.

still here!

2009-08-21T06:44:00.001-05:00

things have been busy, going to my brother's wedding last week and then getting back to work stuff. i will be posting an update on what happened on our trip to north dakota soon (this weekend, but we're also pupsitting for another dog, so i'll try to work it in!)
xoxo

no, puppy! pt 1

2009-08-07T22:13:00.003-05:00

grover has this habit of licking lotion and other such non-food items. perhaps he has pica?
so i've had these awesome simple flip-flops that have a little slot for chapstick that came with a burt's bees lifeguard/sunscreen type. since they're attached to the shoes, i didn't give them a second thought until i saw grover with this little red cap that he was chewing. then it hit me: he's got my chapstick lid (that happens to be full of melted chapstick). yeah, not for puppies.
and s has this habit of saying words & phrases that are not quite the right words. in this situation he said "grover has an unstable affliction" when he meant an insatiable addiction. but hey, after 3 years i know what he meant.

happy anniversary

2009-08-05T20:58:00.000-05:00

so 3 years ago on august 4th was the night i met s. i had completely forgotten what day it was because august came upon us so fast. luckily it didn't pass me by because i'd put a reminder in my phone calendar & it notified me on my lunch break. when i got home, i told s. his response was that we should get something special for dinner. he said he'd pick it up when he made a best buy run. while he was gone, there was a knock on the door. i looked out the peep hole to see a pizza delivery guy. i opened the door & grover busted out straight onto the the pizza warmer box. i managed to wrangle him & tell the guy i hadn't ordered a pizza, then realized that maybe s did. okay, let me just get my wallet. nope, s had already paid for it when he stopped by mesa & ordered. we had some tasty chicken cordon bleu and southwest steak.
he then proceeded to give me a joke hickey on the front of my neck. s does this on occasion, not in the heat of the moment, but because he can & finds it funny. happy anniversary to me! hopefully this bruise will be gone by the time the wedding comes around next saturday.

crap!

2009-08-02T19:30:00.004-05:00

crap! crap! crap! with all this going to blogher and getting a ready-made roommate, i've neglected to prepare for my brother's wedding on the 15th. i haven't finished his wedding present & it would take 2 weeks from now to get a custom frame made and mat cut for his gift. i haven't broken in the 3-inch heels that go with the bridesmaid's dress i can't zip up completely. until this evening at s's parents' for dinner, it had totally slipped my mind that i might have to give a wedding toast. i hate crowds, specifically speaking in front of large groups, so that'll be awesome. especially since i haven't even started thinking of something to write/say. my car needs some work before we leave on the 11th & i've at least got an appointment for the requisite oil change that's due for tuesday already. but my as yet unnamed car needs some new tires & i thought i could use the awesome employee discount slip from michelin that i picked up at blogher, but no one around here has any michelins in stock. hopefully s's mechanic will be able to get us worked in this week and he can take care of that part.
the apartment is still an unpacked mess & i'd really like to get that remedied before we head out on our 800 mile drive. coming back to a sty isn't in anyone's best interest. hopefully this week i can work through a little bit every day & things will slowly but surely be finished in time for our departure. and i won't forget anything, like the dress before we leave here. i can just see that happening.
the heels are currently crushing my screaming toes. yippee!

missing

2009-07-31T22:25:00.003-05:00

my adorable little baby is mia tonight. we dropped grover off this morning at the vet & he had to stay overnight (standard procedure) after he got snipped. i miss his cute little mug, but must admit it's nice to have a free night (not counting blogher) without him. not that i got anything done as s & i were upstairs painting the apartment of the guy who moved in at the same time i did in 2002.
to tide me over until i pick him up at 8.30 tomorrow morning

the air up here

2009-07-25T08:48:00.007-05:00

we're on the 30th floor here at the sheraton & about 9 times out of ten when we step on the elevator to get to our room, my ears pop. apparently the altitude is too high for me.
blogher has both surprised and disappointed me. along with bringing me to tears, making me laugh until my sides hurt (& tears run down my face), intimdated and inspired me. writing is such a tortuous experience for me. this probably explains why i haven't so much as touched my book since december even though it needs major tweaks and editing.
yesterday was great fun and the keynote speakers, every last one, were incredible. i'm still feeling a bit squiffy about handing out my cards to people, be they 'famous' or completely unknown to me. there's the idea that has wormed its way into my subconscious after years of inferiority complex that i am not worthy (ala wayne's world) & i don't know if i want anyone reading/judging my whinging. this was part of the discussion in the lifeblogging session yesterday afternoon: basically why do you have to justify your posts when they are addressing your life? and yet, i feel the need to do it. it's probably a large part of the self-deprecating humor that i've used as a protective shield for as long as i can remember. (not that there's anything wrong with things like sarcasm; i enjoy it in other people but there's a fine line you can cross so easily with a slip of the tongue.)
i honestly need to get over this and i also need to be more diligent in writing either on the first book or even get back to doing the researching/writing on the second one. we shall see how this goes once i get home tomorrow. life has changed immensely with s moving in so maybe i can dedicate more time to other important aspects of my life that i've neglected lately.

guess what?

2009-07-24T15:46:00.004-05:00

i'm at blogher & have a passed out a few cards & still noone wants to read my blog. not that i care (too much). w00t w00t! i'm having a grand time rooming with suzanne & suebob. i met count mockula today & the 4 of us hit up marshall field's, erm, macy's so i could get in my lush fix in person. i held them up a bit because the salesperson sortof accosted me, but i was pleased with her assistance in making my purchases. i just didn't want to make the others wait so long for me. we then went upstairs to the cafe & i ended up having the world's smallest banana split (at 11am) while the three lovely ladies each had a slice of frango (mint chocolate) ice cream pie that they all agreed was divine.
i've met some other lovely ladies thus far & attended one session (lifeblogging), which at times seemed rather vitriolic but overall was a fabulous panel. picked up a bit of swag (lots of usb drives & coupons and random goodies), but missed out on the really good stuff at the swiffer lounge last night when we got here by about 20 minutes.
currently chilling on the supersoft mattress & comforter in the room (30th floor with an amazing view!) probably ought to cut this short & head down to find the other chicas for the keynote & suzanne's booksigning.

ack!

2009-07-23T08:42:00.002-05:00

i'm about to leave & the gps my parents sent me (so i could "find" my way home to nodak for my brother's wedding next month) is drained of charge. and they sent the wrong power cords. oh dear!
hopefully the googlemap directions i printed off at work will suffice. although suzanne's sister tells us that there's a construction detour. argh! it will be sheer luck if we get to suzanne's parents' place this afternoon and to the sheraton eventually.
better pack up the laptop now, take out the grover monster & hit the road. wish me luck!

doesn't it just figure?

2009-07-22T13:40:00.003-05:00

after years of dealing with blemishes and breakouts well into my 20s, i've finally had some decently clear skin for the past 6 months or so.
as of yesterday, i could feel something brewing to the side of my nostril. one of those painful, hard, red bumps just under the skin. it is progressively getting more red as the day progresses, despite my valiant attempts not to touch it. (must feel how big it's gotten!) this just figures the day before i leave for blogher and attempt to make a good impression on all the cool ladies. yeesh!

big move

2009-07-19T15:58:00.002-05:00

poor little grover really doesn't like all this moving around of furniture. last weekend we shifted some desks from the bedroom to the kitchen & vice versa (i've had my old desk from elementary/hs in the kitchen as counter space is close to nil and in order to put s's computer up in the bedroom & redistribute space we flipped them.) we also moved s's dresser into my room & grover, showing either his displeasure or fright, peed on the carpet about 3 times.
today we moved a bunch of things at my place & s's old place into the new storage unit. his pillowtop bed into our room & my mattress out, his big bookshelf into the bedroom, my new flat screen tv into the bedroom & his giant one into the living room. it's gonna be a tight squeeze with 2 people in a one-bedroom where i've been settled for 7 years now, but we'll make it work. and rent will be totally feasible now so that i may actually be able to put money in a savings account every month while paying more down on my student loans, etc. even with the extra $$$/month for the storage unit. anyway, i was worried grover would freak again so we mostly left him in his crate. he cried that we weren't letting him out & we were "playing" without him, but he seems to be doing fine now that most of the big stuff has already been taken care of. it probably doesn't help that the poor little bugger is teething either. s found a bloody little puppy tooth on the carpet in the living room (after he stepped on it with bare feet). this was after we saw blood on his rawhide twist earlier in the evening. thought he'd just bit his tongue again. then today, i noticed that one of his long canine (haha) teeth in the front is gone. our little baby is growing up! (plus the fact that he's 3x the weight he was when we brought him home less than 3 months ago.)
so most of what we have left is organizing the mess that is the living room. a few more trips over to the storage unit in the car will do. we got to take the "free" moving truck (less $250 in cash they had to hold while we had the truck) this afternoon. after they called us this morning to say we couldn't have it for the 3 1/2 hours we'd reserved it for because the person before us would be late, they called at 11.30 to say we could take it whenever we got there until 3.30 before they closed so it worked out perfectly. and s & i didn't kill each other (yet) with moving everything, even though it came close. and grover is digging on the icecubes i keep throwing him for teething toys. it's hilarious to watch.
this has been quite an adventure so far. i look forward to the rest of it.

new 'do

2009-07-14T19:33:00.012-05:00

grover got a haircut today. i think i prefer the puppy cut (all one length) to his new scottie pattern. he looks like too much of a grownup and he's still my baby! i wonder if this is how new parents feel?

before

(grover & his friend sprocket)

after

the groomer wanted to know if we'd like to stud him once before we get him altered. he's scheduled for his alteration on the 31st, so we'd have to postpone that. he said that grover has a good personality. grover is kindof a brat (that's why we call him monster), but he's just a baby & the groomer told us he's pretty good and will become an even-tempered dog when he grows up & would make good puppies from what he saw today & he's been a groomer for 20 years. (but he's just a puppy himself!) i don't really know how i feel about that. i already feel guilty for buying from a breeder and not getting a rescue dog (next dog will be a rescue whether it's from a specific breed or a 'mutt') we'll have to have a serious discussion in the next couple of weeks.

fall down, go boom

2009-07-13T20:56:00.004-05:00

and there i went awol again in the same month as blogher. man, i suck! what excuses this time? well, s has been as good as living here and the puppy monster has been running us ragged. his cuteness far exceeds the drawbacks, though i have barely been able to get any kind of writing in the past 2 months. (don't ask if i mean s or grover.)
about the falling downness: on friday at work, the clinic administrator took us all aside and informed us that, although we had survived the first round of layoffs, the hospital planned to cut salaries across the board by 2%. hey, at least we still have jobs. and i figured out from my salary and my annual hours that i'm only losing $.33/hour. i'm not gonna argue with that versus losing some kick-arse coworkers. (simply because we wouldn't be the ones choosing who goes, so i'll put up with the barely tolerable ones if i have to. or if i am one of them.)
then on saturday, s & i went to a wedding. the ceremony itself (including processional/recessional) was a whole 12 minutes. at the reception at the country club we had a seating chart, which was my first experience with that formality. it turned out to be a pretty awesome match up for all involved, though. the one flaw with the evening was that an extra chair was randomly placed at our table while we were up getting hors d'oeuvres. i sat one chair off from my original seat and in an attempt to correct the error i was in the process of scooting my butt to the one to the right. s also thought to correct the extraneous chair by pulling it away from the table, right out from under me. in front of the entire table, i fell down and crashed to the floor. fall down, go boom. i have 2 parallel bruises on my right leg, one on my thigh and the other on my shin.
and finally, the boom. s, as i'd mentioned above, has basically been staying here for the past 4 weeks if not longer. there was a falling out with one of his whiny, baby roommates (recall, if you will, that they have all recently turned 21 or are younger & s will be 26 in september) who is now refusing to pay his share of the heat/electric that is under s's name. beyond that, s was supposed to have a place to live, but when he went to dinner with the 2 current roommates (4 people total, 2 of whom were staying & 2 new people coming in) on the 5th, the guy freaked out because s went to hs with & knew his ex-gf only as a passing acquaintance. to say it was a bad breakup is an understatement. the girl apparently took out a restraining order on him & he goes into a month-long depression every year at the time of the breakup. thus, after much discussion, s will be moving into my apartment. we'll be getting a storage space because when someone has lived in a 1 bedroom apartment for the past 7 years as i have, one tends to accumulate a great deal of stuff. not to mention that last year s lived by himself in a 2 bedroom before this house fiasco. we haven't killed each other yet, despite the close quarters this past month & i'm making room for some of his "junk" to replace my "junk". i know that "they" recommend you don't move into a place that someone else already lives in for fear of being territorial, but it should be fine with an adjustment period.
i guess s will have all of the weekend after next to get cozy while i'm at blogher. hopefully, we'll have everything situated by that point & i'll be able to get my groove on with all the cool blogesses out there in blogland! wooo! can't wait!

on my way!

2009-07-01T22:13:00.002-05:00

i've now ordered some cards for blogher to pass out in case anyone wants my details. guess i'd better get to it and start blogging some more substance.

i'm extremely excited and anxious at the same time! for now, i'll just anticipate the long holiday weekend, so i don't worry myself sick.

leftovers

2009-06-26T19:31:00.003-05:00

i'm broke until payday on july 1st. once a month pay periods are a pain in the fanny. it's difficult to stay ahead of the game when the end of the month rolls around.
so until then, i'm going to try to refrain from buying any groceries. especially since s got another flat tire on the way to pick me up from work on wednesday & therefore, i need to buy 4 new tires before our trip back to nd in less than 7 weeks for my baby brother's wedding.
for dinner we are scrounging my pantries and fridge:
spinach salad with tomatoes, radishes and dried cranberries & crumbled goat cheese
baked salmon with dill (dried, not fresh. hey, i said i was scrounging!)
broccoli cheese pasta (one of those lipton bags or whatever)
day old oatmeal raisin cookie from work for dessert

i'd also like to direct my readership to a new food blog by someone i know from the internet pre-blogging.
deb's perfect bite
she has got some tasty recipes, for sure.

also wondering if i should get actual business cards for blogher. i don't exactly have a 'theme' and i'm not really looking for a huge increase in traffic. i'm more of a fangirl than anything else. but it seems like the thing to do, so if i meet even more cool people in real life than those i already know on the interwebs (and some of whom i've been lucky enough to meet in person. suzanne, i'm lookin' at you.) i'd better make my decision soon, since time is running out for printing purposes. i'm getting so excited for this!

rawr

2009-06-25T12:55:00.000-05:00

i really want pancakes for dinner!
that is all.

worries

2009-06-17T06:36:00.005-05:00

i realize i've been missing in action lately. part of it can be explained by the increased attention to grover. another issue is that in the past couple of weeks i've been having some blurry vision. some of that could be a result of my colitis. eye inflammation or problems can originate with other inflammatory conditions. i have an appointment with my eye doc on monday. it's not particularly fun & can be somewhat scary. computer eye strain, since i sit in front of a screen all day at work, doesn't seem to be helpful in easing the blurs and floaters when they appear either.
though considering that the hospital is announcing that its 130 layoffs will start today & tomorrow (need to cut $45 million from the budget) maybe i don't need to worry about sitting in front of my work computer anymore. i'm merely a 'support' position, not a healthcare provider & after all, they say they are trying to avoid reducing quality healthcare. we shall see.

social responsibility

2009-06-03T12:48:00.000-05:00

with all this puppy hubbub, i've really been slacking on the blogging. and cleaning. and exercising (not counting the 12 to 15 miles i'm putting in walking to work & then home on my lunch break to let grover out). not such a great thing with blogher coming up & not getting any writing in at all.
grover is truly the cutest puppy on the planet. (okay, all/most puppies are pretty darn adorable.) when he’s not testing boundaries by biting my feet & hands, that is. he's getting better about that & he’s started puppy kindergarten last week. grover just needs to know what’s appropriate around people vs. puppies. and he’s only 14 weeks old as of yesterday.
one of the things i didn’t take into consideration when purchasing my “teddy bear puppy”, as s was calling him last night, was all the attention he’d draw from strangers. obviously i take him outside on a regular basis, multiple times per day, and any time a person, dog or car comes by, grover is fascinated & wants to meet them. considering my self-imposed hermit status, this is not really conducive to avoidance of all living things. either the puppy inserts himself in the stranger’s path (99.9% of the time) or the person spots grover & bombards me with questions and requests to pet the cutest puppy ever. my first response is to swoop in and pick grover up, while making a run for my apartment. i still succumb to this impulse on a number of occasions, particularly when he tugs on the leash to jump on someone or another dog. again, it’s all a learning experience: grover is learning & so are s & i as he’s our first pet.
i guess being more socially available and open to meeting new people isn’t such a bad thing. besides having even less time to do anything. including blogging. perhaps I should look at it as practice for blogher next month. although i still think i'll spend most of my time hiding in corners being a wallflower.

sore bum

2009-05-16T16:28:00.002-05:00

poor little grover has a sore bum. took him to the vet this morning to get his rabies shot (it's 12 weeks & he's 11 weeks, 5 days) & he got his 3rd booster for distemper, i think. boy did he yelp when dr. y gave him the first injection, then cowered over to cuddle into me. then he turned him around and poked him in the other side & he howled some more. so he's all drowsy & tender in the rear when i pick him up. luckily, i don't have to pick him up too much anymore. in the past 2 weeks, he's progressed so much, it's incredible! when we first got grover, he was none too stable on his feet and weaved around like a tiny drunk. barely able to climb over the lip on his crate. last weekend we picked up a playpen to go around his crate & the edge is easily 3" high; now he can hop right over it like a furry hurdler.
yesterday i taught him up, which is the most adorable thing ever! i showed s this morning & he almost died it was so cute.
motherhood is grand!
speaking of motherhood, i get to meet up with the fun & talented suzanne of cuss tonight for an impromptu party for her sister's newborn, who wasn't supposed to arrive until june. can't wait!

motherhood

2009-05-12T19:27:00.004-05:00

wow, this is a totally different experience. there is definitely a reason i've said i'm much too young (yes, at 30) to be a mother. taking care of a baby (particularly a furry one) is tough work. i have always had the utmost respect for parents, but even moreso in the last 10 days since we've had grover. when s was gone for his grandfather's funeral last tuesday & wednesday, single motherhood was rough. i have been lacking in sleep these last days. having to get up in the middle of the night once or twice is painful. for the first few days we let him sleep on the floor, which he still seems to love doing. 3 nights now he's slept in his crate & whined, but i haven't given in to his crying. that was a problem with the first night; we gave in so he wouldn't be sad. grover's mostly been okay with accidents in the house. once we figured out his mannerisms & potty signals. also, we've been trying to take him out after meals/drinking & when he wakes up from naps. accidents have still occurred daily, particularly because he wants to 'play' with me & gets bitey/chewy on my hands & feet. i try to replace my skin with an appropriate toy & show encouragement, but if i don't cooperate, he'll act out & pee on the rug. he knows that's showing me. tomorrow night i'll be calling our local, highly recommended training class (spot & co.) to start her puppy class next wednesday. scotties are notoriously stubborn and aggressive (they were bred to chase vermin), so whatever i need to do to get him off on the right paw. he is still the cutest thing ever & he only seems to act out with me (probably pent up energy). s takes him all over the place & comes over to let him out of his crate a couple times a day. next week will be a challenge because he starts an 8 to 3pm job about 10 miles away, so he won't be available to let grover out during the day. i'll have to adjust my lunch break & haul @$$ back to the apartment to give him a break in the middle of the day, so he's not stuck in his crate for 8 hours at a time. we'll make it work. s thinks he's the cutest thing & i think he's second cutest only behind s himself. i'm trying to imbed a video, but i can't get quicktime to work on my laptop. (and of course he just bit me in the boob, so that's awesome)

my baby!

2009-05-03T18:20:00.007-05:00

grover is the bee's knees! he is positively adorable, potty trained or no. he's not even 10 weeks old yet & had been living in the (heated & air-conditioned) dog run with his parents, siblings and the other dogs (wheaton terriers mostly) when we picked him up, so he's still getting the idea of eliminating outside.
he's taken to his crate quite nicely, but yesterday we had an extremely busy day and saturday i took him the 15 miles to his vet check. as the vet told me, it's hard to tell with these kinds of dogs (he has a dachshund), when they're squatting in prep to pee or poo because they're so low to the ground already. having never had a dog, i'm finally getting it. need to watch his mannerisms or he may pop a squat when my back is turned. he got a clean bill of health & was told he was the perfect patient for his calmness.
after the vet, i came home to wake up s & douse him with more cold meds (swine flu, i'm sure) before we went to the 2nd annual midwest one bank microchipping. only $5, so i donated some more to the local shelter, then we took him to meet s's mum at a family friend's daughter's 1 year birthday. on the way back for a nap in his crate, we introduced him to s's dad. he's been just a little doll with everyone who's handled him so far.
unfortunately, we had to leave him alone in his crate for a couple hours to go to s's sister's birthday dinner. i knew we'd left him too long because he'd only gone potty all day since i'd taken him to the vet & we came back to a poo-filled crate. s bathed grover & i got to clean up the crate. he took that in stride and forgave us, but would not go to sleep in his crate last night. we brought the crate into the bedroom, but after the first two hours he whined & slept just outside the edge of the crate alternating between flopping on my clothes and s's on the floor.
s & i need to establish a routine for him. he should catch on. we already got him to figure out 'sit'. grover pretty much alternates between periods of playfulness and snoozing. hey, he's a baby, so what else should you expect?
yesterday we also found out that s's grandpa (the one we drove to sioux city last saturday to see) passed away yesterday. that means s & his family will be out of town on tuesday & wednesday. i have to figure out someone to petsit all day while i'm at work those days. i can't get time off from work because we're implementing a hospital-wide computer system tomorrow & i've already got half thursday & all friday off because i'm scheduled for a colonoscopy. i'll have to call around or see if my friend who works at home would be willing to take him from 7.30am to just after 5pm both days. that's an awfully big favour.
now for some pictures:

grover!

2009-04-30T13:25:00.002-05:00

the countdown is on! tomorrow evening, after work, we are going to pick up our new puppy! his name is grover & he's a scottish terrier born on 2/23/09. the deposit has been paid and vet appointment made for saturday, along with a potty training seminar at petco. too bad he won't have his rabies shots by then because one of the local banks is having $5 microchipping on saturday as well. my pet lease has been signed with my landlord, s has a spare key so he can feed the little bugger and let him out during the day while i'm gone. yesterday after my infusion i went shopping with my friend who has a doggy (sprocket!) and we picked up a leash/collar and then she showed me this awesome locally owned pet store where i got a couple treats and toys. last weekend i moved all my furniture and took the rug-doctor to my carpet for the first time since it had been put in when i moved in 7 1/2 years ago. boy, did it need a good (not as thorough as i would've liked) cleaning. i've wanted a puppy for years and specifically a scottie for a couple. done lots of research, on all dogs and the breed specifically. i am so excited & so is s! i couldn't do this without him. i would've gotten a dog a long time ago, but for my work schedule and being away from the house for 9-10 hours on workdays. s will be indispensable because he's in school and can let the little fella out during daytime hours. if need be, i can rush home on lunch & let him out for all of ten minutes before running back to work at the hospital, but this way, he'll get all the attention he deserves! when i get home from work on my own laptop, i'll post the pics i have of grover (if you're on facebook you've already seen them), but expect more to be featured in the future after friday night. 31 more hours. i'm almost down to counting the minutes!
edited to add grover pics!

free roxana!

2009-04-18T21:16:00.003-05:00

this morning, while checking my e-mail on yahoo i see an article titled "us journalist sentenced to 8 years in iran" or something similar. my first thought is 'oh no! please don't be roxana!' as i click and a new window opens to reveal a familiar face.
roxana saberi graduated from my alma mater, concordia college, a couple years ahead of me. it's not a huge school & i knew of her while we attended, but don't know her personally. over a month ago, i was led to a facebook group, release and return journalist roxana saberi from ir custody.
this seems to be the classic case of a country that trumps up whatever charges it wants to convict someone they deem a 'threat'. she had been living in iran the last 6 years as a freelance journalist, with dual citizenship (her father is iranian and her mother japanese & live in fargo, nd). as i understand it, roxana was initially charged with purchasing a bottle wine, illegal in muslim iran. then, they charged her with illegally practicing journalism after her press credentials were revoked in 2006. this morning reports of her trial, a one-day affair behind closed doors that her father was not allowed to attend, say that she has been convicted of espionage, spying & reporting back to the us government, and sentenced to 8 years in prison. she has already been held in evin prison outside tehran since january and is understandably deteriorating mentally and emotionally, if not physically. she has been talked out of a hungerstrike once. i cannot imagine being held in an iranian prison, let alone being a woman imprisoned in these circumstances.
this is truly a travesty of justice. her father says roxana told him that she had been coerced into confessing and recanted the charges. both senators from north dakota have expressed their concerns and hilary rodham clinton is involved as well and presented a petition to the iranian government. roxana's lawyer (thank goodness she has a lawyer!) has stated that he will appeal the conviction.
please, please, please if you are so moved, say a prayer for roxana or contact your own congressperson. i will be.

water, water everywhere

2009-04-14T13:46:00.004-05:00

i guess my parents' house is flooding. last night, mom said that it was predicted to crest with another 3' by tonight & the house could only withstand another 1 1/2' before the basement filled with water. in the 30+ years since my parents' built the house, they've never had water get into the basement. despite the fact that the river is directly across the road from the house, the foundation is built up enough to keep all but the worst flooding out.
my brother is activated with the national guard, so he can't help out much as they're sandbagging other places besides the folks' house down in that area & stationed at the armory 10 miles away. dad is running all over helping other people out, but not bothering about the antique dressers in the basement, the bedroom sets from my grandma's house, etc. as if mom could hoist a full size mattress up the stairs or the dressers on her own. she's already pooped from numerous trips up & down the stairs over the last week, trying to move things as the water threatened. her knees aren't that great to begin with & 100 trips up & down the stairs isn't much fun for the strain.
yesterday my dad was interviewed by the local news about the flooding and my mom had to one-up him by walking to the bridge nearby and running into the nd state governor inspecting the area. they had a nice chat.
my bff of 25 years sent me some pics her mom e-mailed of their place and the bridge near ours. you can see them on my facebook page. we all live within half a mile and then next door is the family business for the past 40 years. good luck selling that now once it's completely flooded.
the last flood i remember in that area was during my junior prom in 1996. almost didn't make it out for the banquet because water was running across the roads. and not that i remember it, but the spring after i was born, in 1979, my folks' had to bring me to my aunt & uncle's place in town rather than stay in the valley. in 2001, my college town flooded and then last summer iowa city. maybe s was right in that he told my mom last night that i'm a jinx.

furballs

2009-04-05T11:27:00.003-05:00

last night we stopped by petland to play with the puppies. when we got in we cuddled the bunnies (oh suzanne! i want one! there was an adorable brown one who was so docile & had about 3 strands of white on the top of his head.) then we walked to the puppy area & strolled up the windows checking out what breeds they had. i have never heard of a chiweenie (chihuahua & weiner dog/dachsund?) it was actually pretty cute, despite s's complete disgust over chihuahas. it looked more like a doxie with a little chi in the face, but more weiner dog in the body, too.
s had to get out this tiny white puff of a pomeranian to play with. in the play area he was holding it in a ball & i told him it wasn't a popple. what's a popple? gah, then i did feel old because he doesn't remember them. hello, 1985. (you know, when he was two.)
next up was the love of my life, a 10-week old scottie boy. he had the sweetest disposition, possibly because it was almost bedtime. the worker was so short & he was in the top enclosure & the cairn terrier & the other pup in with him were all bouncy and wanted to go more than he did, but she finally rangled him. they didn't have any scotties the last time we went in to play last summer, so as much as my love for them, i'd never actually held one. he had such intelligent eyes & they're so noble looking, even in puppy form. he nibbled in camaraderie on s's beard. i think i like their beards more than schnauzers. they're so squat and solid for little dogs. and the black curly/wavy hair wasn't coarse yet because he's still young.
then i had to put him away & s asked for the shiranian (shih tzu/pomeranian), which is what the sales girl had at home. she said if her landlord would let her, she would've already taken that little girl home to be a companion dog to her 1-year old pup. the thing was a hyper terror, but cute with the little black curly tail brushing the hair on her back & giving her a flat top. she nipped & chewed on my hand and she was a climber, a little daredevil. when she wasn't trying to dig up the paint spot on the floor of the playpen or escape by digging out of the corner of the play area.
on the way out we played with the bunnies again. i couldn't get over how they don't smell at all and yet the guinea pigs & hamsters right next to them are so smelly. and this morning i still want to take that little scottie home with me. (i'd never buy from petland, but there's a scottie breeder a few hours north of here that has 2 black little boys left, 13 weeks old & i may have to contact them to see how much they are. i was going to replace my 13 year old tube tv this weekend, but who needs a tv when i can be entertained by a puppy?)

blarg!

2009-04-05T10:47:00.003-05:00

so this has apparently turned into a whiny, medical blog. if and when i deign to post. it really feels like there's not much going on, even though there occasionally is. work is sapping my energy, so that i barely feel like functioning or doing anything when i get home. i'm lucky if i get around to picking up my dirty laundry & putting it in the new hamper i bought last month to replace the one i'd had since i was 10.
last monday i went to the gi doctor for a 6 month check-up because his nurse had called to tell me it was time. when i got there both the doc & the nurse asked what i was being seen for/why i came into the clinic. uh, you tell me? i only set up the appointment because i was told it was time & i figured it'd be good to discuss the weird lab results from the rheumatologist.
okay, so i hopped up on the table, he taps my belly & listens with the stethoscope, tells me he thinks i should continue on the remicade infusions since it doesn't seem i've developed any antibodies to it.
wait! but i do have an allergic reaction, which is why dr. f at the cancer center only lets me infuse at 60 (mg/mL- i think that's the right measurement).
at that comment dr. t looks at me like that's the first time he's ever heard that. so apparently, dr. f doesn't dictate anything about my every 7 week visit or when i had an allergic reaction to the freakin' benadryl or breaking out in hives when they sped up the infusion on 4 separate occasions, which is why they no longer go above 60. not to mention the fact that i had told him myself when i was feeling so sick all of last september & they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. he just shrugged & said that there didn't seem to be any reason to stop the remicade.
then he told me the good news. oh happy day. because i've had colitis for 10 years (diagnosed in june of 1999), i'm due for a colonoscopy. after 10 years, people have an insanely higher risk of colon cancer (something like 50 or 60%, i'll have to look it up because i can't remember the exact number). i've had my share of flexible sigmoidoscopies over the years, i think 6, but never a full colonoscopy. and after having a sedated flex sig when i was in the hospital in september 2007, i am never going to get another unsedated one. they are extremely painful in comparison. not that they usually do unsedated colonoscopies. at least at mercy, unlike the gi clinic where i work, they only use half-lytely instead of the whole gallon bowel prep.
i scheduled it for september because there's so much going on in the next few months: at work, blogher, s moving, my brother's wedding, possibly getting a puppy in that timeframe (squeee!!) probably should just get it over & done with, but there's no real rush.
what a thing to look forward to in the very near future. lucky me!

square one

2009-03-25T20:03:00.003-05:00

and there's apparently nothing wrong with me. oh yes, my ana is completely totally high (see previous: normal is 1:40 & mine was 1:1280), but apparently it isn't a result of lupus or thyroid disease because my histone antibodies are normal and my thyroid labs are also on par. so, what is wrong with me? doctor says she doesn't know (and i quote: "it's a puzzle"), but wants to keep an eye on my thyroid labs at my next appointment on june 1. i see my gi doctor next monday, so we'll have to see what he says. of course, when i told him about the pain in my joints he told me it wasn't his issue and to see my regular doctor or a rheumatologist.
also, re: my subject, i totally loved that show when i was a kid.

dark

2009-03-20T20:59:00.004-05:00

last week was a real downer, in so many ways that i couldn't pull myself out of it. so much so that i cried at work. i didn't know what was going on with my health with my bloodwork coming back and the possible diagnosis of drug-induced lupus or possible thyroid disease. (and i still haven't heard back from the rheumatologist about the additional labs i had drawn on 3/13).
the big thing that kept me practically immobile was the trial in iowa city. a year ago february, a kid came to town to celebrate with his friends for his 21st birthday the next day. he went out, drank a bunch & got kicked out of the bar for getting sick, and then on the way to his friend's house for the night, ran away from the group up a street. his brother & friends called him repeatedly & called the cops to help look for him. about an hour later, he showed up with no pants and two coats wrapped around him to keep warm. he crawled into bed, saying he didn't remember where he ran off to and went to sleep.
the next day, a 75 year old man was found beaten to death in his own apartment a few blocks away. this kid's wallet, coat and shirt were found in the apartment, along with the door kicked in. the best guess of what happened is that because both buildings were the same number (513), but a different street. he runs off, thinks he's at his friend's place and got undressed to go to bed. when the old man confronts the intruder in his home, the drunk kid thinks that he's the one who broke in and beat and strangles the old man. he had at one point answered the phone when his friend called looking for him and said "there's a guy who's gurgling and it's freaking me out. i think he's dead." he still doesn't remember anything from that night, blackout.
all this happened 3 blocks from my apartment. the trial went on monday thru friday and one of the local newspapers had a reporter liveblogging the event. i didn't read the whole thing live, but every day i caught up on the testimony. at first i thought the kid deserved everything he got, life in prison, no doubt. then other things came out, like the fact that he rarely drank and his family growing up ran a program for delinquent boys to rehabilitate them, he started a bible study during the year he was incarcerated leading up to the trial. he's now only 22 & waiting on sentencing for the judge to decide (it was a non-jury trial) his fate. i still think there's no question that he killed the poor old man and that he deserves to be punished for that horrifying act, but i can't help but feel depressed about the life that he is losing as well, his own youth.
i don't know if i've come to any conclusions about why i was so enthralled by this or if i feel any better, but i felt like my own life was in limbo while the trial was in session. i was in a dark cloud of depression that took quite a long time to lift; it's not going to change what happened, but now i feel like i can breathe easier knowing that justice is working on finding the proper punishment. and it's good to know that the judge is conflicted over the outcome. makes me feel better to know that someone in such a position knows that it's not an easy situation to come to some kind of resolution.

nothing like warm pee in the afternoon

2009-03-10T21:00:00.003-05:00

on wednesday, i had the pleasure of running over to the other side of the hospital on my lunch break. had to give a little sample for the rheumatologist i saw on the 23rd. luckily there was no venipuncture involved (i'd gotten that part out of the way on the day of-only 4 days after i'd donated blood, so i had a pre-poked vein all ready for them). i moseyed over to the lab after checking in & dutifully took my newly labeled urine specimen cup. i always get a chuckle over reading the directions in the bathroom. "women: remove pants..." men are never told that crucial step. are women really so stupid that they don't know to remove their pants? seriously.
business done without any drips & i place the practically steaming cup (who knew body temperature was so high?) in the little metal door... right next to someone else's dark (ugh!) yellow specimen. i kindly mentioned that my cup had company in the little closet when i walked out past the lab techs.
today in the mail i received a copy of the transcription from my rheum appt & also the lab results. um, apparently my ana (normal is <1:40) is a bit high. read that as 1:1280. apparently my thyroid is off, underfunctioning a bit. not enough, or long enough, for me to gain any weight, so i don't know if it's been happening for long. i know that people with hyperactive thyroid tend to metabolize faster & lose weight more readily than others, so the opposite should be true to underactive thyroid. if nothing else, i've lost 3 lbs since catching a monster cold this weekend.
now with these results, i don't know if the doc will even want me to get my remicade infusion tomorrow. the doctor who administers it is not my actual gi doc, so i won't know what's what until i check in & see him tomorrow. since my abnormal labs could be the result of drug-induced lupus, maybe stopping the remicade is the best bet, but i don't want to suffer through more joint pain until i introduce another drug. conundrum!

guilty reality

2009-02-28T13:51:00.004-06:00

last night we had to wait for the cops to arrive and tow the car that was parked on the street directly in front of s's driveway. (as you can see, the green car has its tires on both sides of the driveway. the idgit must've thought what a perfect spot on the street with plenty of room! still wish i could've seen their expression when they returned to find their car missing.)

as a result, we couldn't go get our fast food fish sammiches (friday/lent & all). after 2 hours, the parking cop finally showed; he was the only one on duty & had four more stops after ours. luckily the tow truck arrived soon after & s went to pick up our mesa pizza instead. eggplant (parm with mozz & red peppers) & half spinach feta tomato pizza.

at that point it was 8.30pm and s was due to head to role playing. we were still watching torchwood season 1 when he found out one of his friends was unexpectedly ill. we continued watching the last of season 1 & turned our sights to 'regular' tv. in the course of channel surfing, i landed on bravo & some bizarre show 'millionaire matchmaker'. now, reality tv is one of my least favourite things & s hates it even more. one of my few enjoyments in that genre is 'the amazing race' & s will concede that it isn't too terrible. oh, and most of the food network shows ('ace of cakes' & co.) aren't that bad.

anyway, this millionaire show is a total trainwreck. neither of us could turn away. i tried to, but s wouldn't let me. there's this tranny-looking yenta (she's stated she's a 3rd generation matchmaker) in la with scarily enhanced lips & quite the attitude. her other coworkers include a goth girl with purple bangs & the coo is a mohawked goth guy. the two clients on this episode were a creepy 38 year old millionaire self-styled playboy whose dream date would start with a massage at a spa & end with taking his girl to rodeo drive for some shopping (even though he stated he didn't like shopping, but knew women loved it-thanks generalization) & a shy 34 year old internet entrepreuner who was incredibly awkward with conversation. both guys were jewish, so they were looking for a nice jewish girl. unfortunately, most of the ladies who came in for interviews for a private party weren't jewish, which enraged patti, the matchmaker. eventually, the private party to introduce the girls to the millionaires went over fairly well with a nice mix of girls, shiksa or otherwise.

creepy dude & shy guy both picked the same (christian) girl as their first choice, but she picked the shy, super-cute one rather than than mr. comes-on-too-strong. it seemed he really couldn't get over the i'm paying for an outfit to get a chick into bed on the first date, overly sexual conversation & he did not take any of the (pushy, but true) advice of patti to tone it down. no wonder he said he hadn't been in a relationship in 6 or 7 years.

i cannot relay enough how we could not turn away, despite how terribly voyeuristic it felt. i'm afraid we may have to watch another episode.

aches again

2009-02-25T19:28:00.004-06:00

so, yet again i'm at that point where simply sitting in one spot hurts. there is no position that is comfortable. either my knee or my hip aches, more like screams. yesterday & part of today it was the inability to move my neck. most of today i had a headache and i never have headaches, maybe once every 3 months. (please don't hate me, those of you for whom headaches are a daily trial.)
on monday i went to see a rheumatologist to see what was up with my joint pain. she spent over an hour in the exam room with me, getting my history & manipulating various body parts to see what was causing the problems. of course on monday things weren't so severe, a little twinge in my shoulder.

her diagnosis: arthralgia.

literally, joint pain. seems like a copout diagnosis, since none of my joints were swollen when she saw me. that was not the case when i saw the internist last year on my birthday. i was closer to tears than not & he wanted to give me steroid injections in all my major joints then & there.
dr. s thinks i probably built up antibodies to the remicade infusions & that the joint pain is my colitis manifesting itself in ways other than digestive disturbances. she told me i need to take sulfasalazine two pills twice a day, along with the remicade infusion every 7 to 8 weeks. then, i'm supposed to see her back on june 1st. if things haven't improved, she wants to discuss humira injections (every 2 weeks), instead of the remicade with my gastroenterologist. all the drugs for my autoimmune condition were originally used for arthritis, so it just depends on what my insurance will cover. on one hand, i won't have to take a day off from work to sit with an iv-needle in my arm. on the other, i (or possibly s because i asked if he would do it for me) would have to give myself an injection, at home, every two weeks. guess it's less than a diabetic who needs to inject insulin daily, if i want to look on the bright side.
for now, i just want something to take away the pain i feel on a daily basis. but i'm not going to ask for painkillers. i don't like taking aspirin and i do not intend to be labeled a drug-seeking patient. we get plenty of those who 'need another refill on narcotics' in the clinic & i know how the nurses & doctors treat those people. right now i really feel for them, the ones who are truly in pain, because i completely understand their need to get by & simply function.

monday fun day

2009-02-18T07:08:00.003-06:00

this hasn't been the best week at work and i haven't even made it through wednesday yet! superbusy and we're a bit short staffed since my supervisor was in cali on monday & the other m had her peds rotation for nursing school from 7-3:30 yesterday, plus she's deathly ill with a cold.
the upside is that i have a new cell phone in the mail (lg env2!) and monday night after work, i called s to say hi and that i was gonna head home rather than see him. he said he'd call a little later because he was at his folks' place. over an hour had passed & i was about to take my laundry over to the washer, but grabbed my phone before i went out the door in case he called. as i walked to the other side of the building i saw my car sitting at the back of the parking lot with the lights on & s inside. shrugging, i took my laundry downstairs & tossed it in. then i walked back over to the car & stood by the driver's side until s rolled down the window.

me: "uh, hi."
s: "helllooo. whatcha doin'?"
me: "what am i doing? laundry. what are you doing?"
he was eating a frosty.
s: "i thought i'd surprise you. um, after i ate this."

silly boy, trying to keep ice cream from me. he came in for a bit & watched ncis while i stumbled around in the crawlspace trying to empty the last couple boxes. then he took me over to his house to spend the night. unfortunately, i decided to partake of a tiny glass of mountain dew after 9pm and with my body's caffeine sensitivity, i was up until 2am. and kept s up when he finally crawled into bed at 1am. i can't stop talking when that happens. he just finds me silly since he couldn't fall asleep either.
hope all are having a good week!

today is a new day

2009-02-04T20:59:00.004-06:00

today i had a meeting, via work, with a health coach, to help me be more accountable with my life and stuff. in the past year, since the arthritis hit me hard, i've had an incredibly difficult time with keeping up on exercise and eating right has never been much of a priority. i'm not technically overweight (depends on the fluctuation within a pound or two) according to my bmi, but i'd prefer to be more in the midrange than threatening to teeter over the edge with a single macaroon. this is difficult with the pain in my joints that can start at any time before & after my infusions. but i intend to get a referral from one of the docs in the clinic where i work & see a rheumatologist to see if physical therapy is the appropriate step or what kind of exercises (swimming, i know!) are best for my circumstances.
i am also completely addicted to the food network. i'm not sure this is a detriment to my goal about eats. not that man vs. food is truly tempting me to go eat 15 dozen oysters or the world's largest donut (i wouldn't mind a bite).
it is going to be quite difficult to remain accountable with s, especially when my suggestion of salmon, asparagus & cottage fries (i know, but i need my starch!) was met with "let's have calzones! i'm buying!" okay, so i crumbled already, but at least i had spinach & mushrooms on mine. i'm planning to do a workout in front of the telly & possibly some extracurricular activities.
besides the health/eating/exercise issues, i need to rein in the procrastination. one of my short term (two weeks) goals before my next appointment with the health coach is to finish writing an article for a children's magazine. obviously with a two week timeframe, i'm not aiming for actually being published, but at the least i want something i will submit for consideration. and not chicken out about the rejection factor.
so wish me luck (or please, nag/ask/encourage). here's hoping that 30 is the best year yet!

good times

2009-01-26T18:56:00.006-06:00

last wednesday, after work, s met me with the car and we drove west for about an hour toward des moines for dinner. we were meeting up with an old friend of mine from college. i'm not sure i've actually even seen c since i graduated in 2001. maybe once after that and that's a long time ago.
she was the first person i officially met when moving into the dorms way back in august of 1997. my folks were trying to make the bed on my lofted bunk and she walked into the room and introduced herself. i still remember my dad being embarassed because my mom couldn't hear her & said she was deaf, turning around to see that c wore a hearing aid. ha! c was a sophomore who had lived on park region 3 the year before when they hadn't yet remodeled the rooms. (somehow i lucked out and got into a basically brand new dorm rather than the virgin vault, also known as the nunnery.) half the floor were park 3 girls who got dibs on the new digs, but they still let us join in the fun and weren't clique-ish about it.
anyway, c is working in des moines and flies in from fargo weekly. she just got engaged a couple weeks ago and i was looking forward to congratulating her in person. it was so great to see her! we chatted about some of the folks we remembered from college & explained to s why neither of us really dated much at concordia (the fact that the odds were about 1/3 gay, 1/3 taken & the other third not worth it basically left us out of the equation, which is fine by me or i wouldn't have been the person i was when i met s).
chatting with old friends you haven't seen in years is so great to bring back the memories. *sigh* i miss my college pals.

photo advise

2009-01-18T10:15:00.002-06:00

i have tons of pictures from trips overseas, mostly in 2000 & 2001, for school that i never put into photo albums. now i'm wondering what the best way to get them scanned/online without a scanner is. do places like cvs do that for you? i really want to get them on a zip drive or similar format.
any techies out there have suggestions? also, it'd be great if it's not too expensive either.

updater

2009-01-18T09:55:00.003-06:00

two 'ittle updates
1st, the heat sitch
e-mailed the landlord (wife) who works at the u on friday morning & she said she'd send hubb or f-i-l right over. when i got home after work (glad i left the place messy for them), i found an opened, new space heater sitting on the floor running by my picture window & the heat cranked up to 72. i picked up a few things, took out my trash & then headed over to s's place since the 72* thermostat wasn't really kicking much actual warmth. we went to dinner out of town & landlord called me back around 9pm to say that he'd moved tons of stuff in my bedroom, under the kitchen sink & in the crawlspace under the stairs to find out why it was so cold until they realized it was because there wasn't enough insulation under my apartment that was causing the freeze. idiots!
i haven't been back to the apartment yet, since friday. i'll go back after church this morning.
on a second note, i previewed my tax refund situation (only waiting on a 1098 from one of my student loans i'm paying back) & i'll be getting a couple hundred from federal, so i can afford the trip to blogher if suz is down with that!
now i'm off to get dressed for church. haven't been in too long.

chiver

2009-01-15T19:37:00.003-06:00

you know that noise your teeth make when you're so cold you can't even shiver without your teeth chattering? yeah, i'm pretty sure there's no heat in my apartment. the only thing keeping me warm is the laptop sitting on my legs.
-18 degrees when i took the bus in to work. not any warmer now. i may just curl up under my down comforter with the mattress pad heater and hibernate until s calls when he's done with game night. yikes!

her blog

2009-01-06T18:18:00.005-06:00

well, yesterday i started contemplating attending blogher 2009. i know i haven't got the audience, but as it's close (chicago-less than 4 hours away) and i'm autograph hound (no, not really), i thought it might be a possibility. i mean, i'd get to be near/meet some of my favourite bloggers.
it'd be pretty awesome to finally meet des and remeet suzanne. hopefully i'd get to meet suebob, too! and there are a ton of others, who i'm too lazy to link at this moment. it could be really fun. slumber party!
that would mean an awful lot of vaca time in july/august, though. if i take off july 24th, i also have to put in time for august 12-17th for my brother's wedding and travel time. then, there's the possibility of moving out of my apartment or at least helping s move into a new place, which would be the first of august. luckily the 1st is on a saturday this year, but if i have to move, i need to be out by 7/29. (stupid college town leases-every landlord/property management in town is 1-year lease only going from august-july of the next year!) so far, i've already asked for the 24th off & my bro's wedding week, but we'll see if i need moving vacation. or, you know, win the powerball. whatevs.

reading list 2008: a review

2009-01-04T15:38:00.004-06:00

yet again this year i read quite a few books. look below for a (mostly) complete list, in close to chronological order.

hickory dickory dock by agatha christie
partners in crime by agatha christie
the regatta mystery and other stories by agatha christie
an incomplete education: 3,684 things you should have learned but probably didn't by judy jones and william wilson (okay, so i mostly skimmed this one)
adverbs by daniel handler (also known as lemony snicket and i also skimmed this one)
there is a tide by agatha christie
the under dog and other stories by agatha christie
remembered death by agatha christie
interred with their bones by jennifer lee carrell
n or m? by agatha christie
the labors of hercules by agatha christie (a poirot mystery)
the mysterious mr. quin by agatha christie (these harley quin ones kinda creep me out a little)
wicked by gregory maguire
the other boleyn girl by philippa gregory (these last 2 i read while on my trip to london)
the whipping boy by sid fleischmann (i remember reading this from my elem. school library)
the thirteen problems by agatha christie (i so love the short story compilations)
the seven dials mystery by agatha christie
the midwife's apprentice by karen cushman (another children's book)
the mirror crack'd by agatha christie
the giver by lois lowry (i was a bit old when this came out, so hadn't read it before. dark.)
murder on the orient express by agatha christie (this one doesn't get old)
the hollow by agatha christie
third girl by agatha christie
lord edgware dies by agatha christie
three act tragedy by agatha christie
more saints: lives and illuminations by ruth sanderson (another kiddie book-just reading up on a newly beatified saint)
absent in the spring by mary westmacott (aka by agatha christie)
the daring book for girls by andrea buchanan and miriam peskowitz
why didn't they ask evans by agatha christie
double sin and other stories by agatha christie
a game of thrones by rr martin
how to write a children's book and get it published by barbara seuling (also received this as a gift at christmas this year-can't return it because a little girl at s's parents' place ate it on new year's day)
gideon the cutpurse by linda buckley-archer (this is really similar to the book i wrote in that it involves time travel)
yellow star by jennifer roy (this is a sad children's book from the perspective of the author's aunt when she was 4 & in hiding from nazis. in verse)
twilight by stephenie meyer (embarrassing, but i had to read them)
new moon by stephenie meyer
a clash of kings by rr martin
eclipse by stephenie meyer
so many steps to death by agatha christie
the moving finger by agatha christie
the gargoyle by andrew davidson (really interesting, but i had no attachment to the main female character. just thought she was crazy)
ordeal by innocence by agatha christie
breaking dawn by stephenie meyer (i dealt with waiting for this on the library hold list. so stupid)
one, two, buckle my shoe by agatha christie (okay, annoying when titles change & there are multiple copies or british titles of the same book you've already read!)
miss marple: the complete short stories by agatha christie (i love miss marple!)
the mystery of the blue train by agatha christie
murder at hazelmoor by agatha christie
ties that bind, ties that break by lensey namioka (interesting children's book about a girl who doesn't want her feet bound in the early 20th century china)
bud, not buddy by christopher paul curtis (newbery medal winner-historical perspective of an orphaned black boy in 1930s michigan)
postern of fate by agatha christie
hercule poirot's christmas by agatha christie
witness for the prosecution and other stories by agatha christie
smart girls like me by diane vadino (boy was this one insipid, but i finished it)
american wife by curtis sittenfeld (i like curtis sittenfeld; prep was my favourite & man of my dreams seemed like a watered down version, but american wife held up the hype for the most part)
sleeping murder by agatha christie
spider's web by agatha christie (a play adapted into a novel by charles osborne)

i intend to read at least as many books this year and continue making my way through agatha christie's entire collection. i also want to read all the newbery & caldecott winners eventually. i'm also going to be continuing researching the period in which my book takes place (1893 chicago world's fair). i received two original 115 year old books for christmas, one photo album & the other a guidebook, to incorporate more details.
what are you reading/planning to read this year?

viva la resolution!

2009-01-01T11:44:00.004-06:00

welcome to 2009!

i can't say that last night was too eventful-third new year's eve spent with s, 2nd geek-a-palooza. we spent it, much like last year, with his best friend j & his fiancee b, and the best friend's younger brother t who happens to live with s this year. i made a ham, artichoke heart, fresh mozarrella & pesto pizza for dinner, then we hit the store to buy the requisite booze. i also bought ingredients to make creme brulee french toast for this morning.

even though resolutions are completely trite these days, i'm still considering some generalized things to attempt for this year. i'm working my way through my life list of things to do by the time i'm thirty. well, today is exactly 1 month until my thirtieth birthday. the whole publication thing won't actually happen in the next month, but i'm working on submitting things, slowly but surely. trying to get healthier, but obstacles keep presenting themselves (see-arthritis, etc.)

some things that i could probably accomplish in the next 6 months if i set my mind to it (and that's close enough to 30 for me)

go skiing
throw my parents a joint birthday party (march 31 & april 8)
working on paying off my credit cards
see the cubs at wrigley
write & submit an article to publish
keep submitting book to publishers/agents (1 rejection already in the bag)
outline & research my 2nd book

i'd like to end this post with a couple generalizations of resolutions:

i'd like to be nicer
greener
healthier (or try, if my condition allows)
wealthier (in spirit, if not monetarily)
more productive
smarter (taking another continuing ed class?)
and most important --- happier

happy new year to all of you. i love your presence in my life!

puppeeeey!!!

2008-12-22T20:21:00.002-06:00

we looked at a puppy tonight at pet central. omg! he's so adorable, 6 weeks old male apricot toy poodle. filled out an adoption application. i'm not sure i'm ready to be a pet parent, but s & i are considering it. there are other people who also want francois, so we'll see. we'd both like a bigger dog if it were more feasible living in town/apartments, but all dogs are cute & deserve a loving home.
here

just shoot me

2008-12-20T23:21:00.003-06:00

my shoulders hurt from the arthritis and it's only been 2 1/2 weeks since my last infusion. next one scheduled for january 22. makes things difficult to do anything in daily life. it set me off to tears this evening. not sobs or anything, just the rolling down your face kind. and i asked s if he'd shoot me, if i went on humira injections. i imagine it's difficult to poke the needle into your own arm (though i 'spose i could ask diabetics with their daily insulin). i don't think i'd want to do it myself every time. and he said, of course he would.
all these drugs for my colitis are originally intended for rheumatoid arthritis, which seems to be my current existing issue. all the gi symptoms have pretty much been in remission for most of the past year. and the remicade doesn't seem to be lasting as long as it's supposed to, the 6-8 weeks between infusions. humira is only weekly or every other week with the injection you can do yourself. it's an option that i need to discuss with my physician(s).
i realize the ups & downs we've had, but i love s so much for being understanding of my medical condition. he told me i'm wonderful & i returned the compliment. he also said we have a pretty symbiotic relationship, don't we? you need me & i need you. i like to think more that we complement each other because i can be completely myself with him. it feels wonderful to not hide any facet or be embarrassed about your flaws. he's always telling me how beautiful i am, how smart, how sexy, how lucky he is.
i'm a lucky girl.
merry christmas to me!
(and you too!)

busy day

2008-12-14T09:47:00.006-06:00

yesterday was the busy day i'd been anticipating for almost 2 months. at noon i went to the salon to see danielle, my aveda lady. i've only been to her a total of three times in the last year (december 2007 for a style after my hospital stay, april/may for a cut before m & t's wedding & now december again). she agreed to the fact that i'd been butchered at my last cut at the hair college & vowed to fix it. we'll have to wait until next time to do anything different because she repaired the damage done by the student cutter.
(as soon as i'm on my own computer i'll post a pic)
after that i met s at his place & walked downtown (sans s) to see my friend's booth at 'what a load of craft 5!' a bad@ss craft show in one of the bars. she makes dresses, mostly with vintage fabric & patterns or no pattern at all. she's totally talented. i hung out & got to see her first sale (in less than 2 hours of setting up!), which was exciting.
then, back to hang at the house for an hour until we left for cr & the roughriders game. technically, we got there halfway through the 2nd period of the iowa v. iowa state game. it was pretty passive & we just sat at the top of the rink to watch since it was mostly empty. we hit up cici's pizza for the buffet, just like last year in the blizzard, even though it was just the two of us. their garlic cheese bread bites are delish! and back to the rink with plenty of time to catch the big show. the roughriders were playing the fargo force, which made it hard for me to decide who to root for, but s agreed that fargo was playing much better defense. we quietly cheered them on while surrounded by rabid roughriders fans & some 6 to 7 year old boys at their first hockey game sat behind us asking questions. we also spent part of the game watching an adorable 16 month old baby one row over who was completely enjoying herself & turned out to be the daughter of one of s's nerdy gamer friends.
all in all, it was a good day & we ended the evening by watching the second & third episode (which i hadn't seen & was sooo good!) of pushing daisies. ridiculous that such a good show has been cancelled.

1st rejection

2008-12-08T17:41:00.001-06:00

just over 2 hours turnaround time for my 1st rejection (e-mail).

"So sorry your submission isn’t one for me. Interesting, but I’m afraid I don’t love its premise quite enough to feel I can represent it successfully for you."

ack!

2008-12-08T13:47:00.002-06:00

i just hit 'send' on the first (e-)submission of my manuscript. omigosh! omigosh! now i sit & wait for a response/rejection. okay, well i'm in the thick of it now. after procrastinating for months about making the first submission-this to a literary agent- here we go.
i certainly don't expect a positive offer on my first go-around, but i feel a little dizzy that i actually did it. took nearly 4 years to write the thing & now it's mostly out of my hands until someone picks it up & then i'll have to start the editing process.
*sigh*
can i go home now? i'm exhausted. and more than a little nauseous.

greenhouse literary

in memoriam

2008-12-07T17:50:00.003-06:00

bombing of pearl harbor
67 years ago today.

hair sos

2008-12-07T11:54:00.005-06:00

next saturday i finally get my hair cut again. the last time was 4 months ago and the chick at the hair college totally butchered me. i had had a pretty good experience when i went there a year ago, right before i ended up in the hospital, so i thought it would be a safe risk to take when i wanted a last minute cut in august. it was probably my own fault for asking for anything more than layers, because i asked for some bangs. the girl decided that she was gonna go her own way on that. she wanted me to have 'side bangs' & chopped super short on the left side of my head & left it long on the rest of my head. i had to chat with her instructor & be very insistent that she trim the rest of my hair into bangs because it looked completely ridiculous when i put on my glasses. i was not pleased, but what can you expect for $6? now i'm looking for recommendations on haircuts. my hair is long & s, being a guy, would like me to keep the length. you can see about the length it is now in my picture in the sidebar. it's actually at the length that i've got the ol' armpit hair issue. you know, where you raise your arm up & when you bring it back down to your side the hair gets caught because it's so long. that's really only a problem in summer to me when you're all sweaty. not a big deal when you're fully covered by clothing. so, on that note. any suggestions would be appreciated. i'm meeting my future sis-in-law for the first time in less than 3 weeks & i want to look presentable. i promise to post pictures of the new cut after i get back from the hockey game on saturday.

recent pic added~

thankful

2008-11-28T07:53:00.003-06:00

it's been a while since i last posted. things have been a bit rough, joint-wise. apparently after girls' night out (sushi! wine! dresses!) the ol' arthritis started kickin' in. or rather beating me to a pulp. and my next infusion isn't until wednesday, but i'm getting by with the medication from the gp & it seems to at least let me get around without shrieking at my every step.
anyroad, this is a post in honour of thanksgiving. i was lucky enough to spend my second year at the 'in-laws'. weeks ago i offered to bring sweet potatoes because it's one of my must-haves at both christmas & thanksgiving. last year, i was thwarted as they only had a basket of baked yams on the table. so i rounded up a recipe from the pioneer woman that went over like hotcakes. pecan-crusted sweet potatoes. in fact, i got so much attention that it made me blush. and that was just my first attempt at the recipe. guess it'll have to become a regular feature & i can even make it for my fam (except dad) at christmas.
hope you & yours had a wonderful thanksgiving. i've so much to be thankful for: steady job, great benefits, fantastic friends, amazing family & 'in-laws' & last but not least, s.
now i'm going to avoid anything to do with consumerism & retail that is black friday.

post-vote high

2008-11-05T19:42:00.003-06:00

even though i voted over a month ago, and most of yesterday felt anti-climactic, i am one happy camper. i know that this won't unify people right away, but i am ever hopeful that obama can bring about the change that needs to come in this country.
discussing with a close friend of mine, she's heard people at the college where she works say things about how now 'the white folks will know how it feels' since we have a black president & 'we' are finally in power. i'd just like to post her response:

"I just wish people would see that this man has the potential to make America hopeful, to make us a country that believes in ourselves.
I would love to explain that this is a man who is America. Someone who is multiracial, who overcame large obstacles, and someone who became the most powerful individual in the world in four short years. I want to tell these students he won because his vision moved a country, he made Americans take pride in their nation, in their rights. He’s created a feeling of hope that hasn’t been around since the Kennedy era.

I also want to tell them he has a difficult job. His job is going to be harder than anyone’s in the world. He is taking charge of a country that is economically defunct, a country that is selfish, a country that has made political decisions the whole world disapproves of, a country that needs to fix itself for all of its citizens. I don’t envy his job."

she's so smart. that's why we're friends.

noodle arms

2008-11-02T09:37:00.002-06:00

yesterday i finally decided to start the one hundred push-up challenge. i'd read about it a couple months ago, but that was when i was feeling like dirt and could barely move when i got home from work.
you begin by testing your fitness level, so you know where to start and i managed to do 20 push-ups before my arms gave out. yay! that means i start at level 3 and you only have to do the program 3 days a week for six weeks and you should be able to do 100 by the end of that time. this is good on numerous levels, besides toning your upper body, arms and core, as i understand it, your bone density is improved by doing push-ups. this is especially beneficial to women who may be experiencing bone loss due to a deficiency in calcium.
my problem is that i decided to overdo it. a few hours after i tested myself on the push-ups i went ahead and did my regular, piddly little tv workout, which includes doing some arm work with my 5lb weights. only about 15-20 minutes total, but by the time i went to bed i could feel the pain in my arms. oh yeah, i can barely move my shoulders and elbows today without cringing. guess that tells me it's about time i get in shape. i do have to wear another strapless bridesmaid's dress next year. why not start now?

pleasant surprise

2008-11-01T18:50:00.002-05:00

i ran to the grocery store just now to pick up a few things. busy parking lot, but not shocking. when i walked in i found them giving away little tasting glasses & wine merchants were scattered throughout the store along with samples from the store's catering department (sushi, chinese, tortilla roll-ups, chicken wings, chocolate fountain!). yum! that is a sample day i can get behind.
now i'm going to eat half an avocado for dinner.

why so serious?

2008-10-31T20:48:00.004-05:00

as many of you who know me, you know that i am sick and tired of my job. one of the many reasons are the calls i have to take. the clinic is a specialty clinic, gastroenterology/hepatology/bariatrics/gi surgery, and as such, receives numerous referrals. in fact, our gi staff physicians are booked out well into february for new patients and that is to put it mildly as we don't have all the referred patients scheduled. we get approximately forty referrals per day to the various services. and yet, the response from both patients and referring providers alike when i tell them my first available appointment for a morning colonoscopy on a monday or wednesday is such and such date in january.
"you're joking?" is the most common response.
yes, sir. of course i'm joking. i find it quite amusing to wile away my 8 to 5 by joshing with patients. our 30 second interaction led me to believe that you would be open to a bit of leg pulling before we get down to the dirty business of scheduling a colonoscopy. i'm afraid i was mistaken.
it's only that it gets extremely exasperating when things are completely beyond our control about scheduling patients in a timely, or even reasonable, fashion. on a day-to-day basis this becomes a real drag on a person's psyche. especially when a number of people state that we must want them to die rather than schedule them.

on another note, i came across a referral for a patient with a relatively minor complaint. all was dandy until i caught sight of the name, which slightly resembled another existing patient's name. i read on with interest. candy morningst**. not her birth name, obviously. most m2f i've come across don't have names that are quite that stagey-sounding. also, her wife was still listed as nok. i don't mean to come across as insensitive; it's only that we have an ongoing list of unusual names in order to keep the mood light on occasion. she qualifies. as does the wife of the patient with a similar name. her first name is blueberrie.

mute

2008-10-28T17:04:00.003-05:00

on thursday night i went to bed with a scratchy throat. just in time for the weekend, what a perfect time to get sick! well, i couldn't talk on saturday, but s & i went out for a nice dinner. turned out to be an overpriced place, but he had a gift certificate from someone for his efforts with the flood in june. my salmon tasted fantastic, though & i gladly shared with s. twenty minutes later, upon arriving back at the house just in time to feel the effects of food poisoning. (i won't go into gory details, but i lost 3lbs). sunday morning, still scratchy & again on monday, but i went to work hoping that i would be able to avoid the phone since i work in the backroom on mondays. unfortunately, one of my other coworkers called in sick, so i ended up having to use my much depleted voice more than anticipated. this was not beneficial in any way & it hurt to swallow my own saliva due to a lump that had taken up residence in the left side of my throat. and because of a complete lack of appetite, i skipped my lunch & left at 4. s & i had grilled cheese & tuscan tomato soup courtesy of bread garden. (i made the grilled cheese, but purchased the ingredients there.)
at his invitation, i joined s at the house to sleep after knocking back an aperitif of nyquil cough. we chilled in his room watching tv & he repeatedly informed me that i wasn't going to work in the morning. i said/croaked we'll see how i feel in the morning. i also had a delightful cough going for me, not phlegmy but not dry. well, the nyquil dried that out, so throughout the night i woke to bark/cough.
a steamy hot shower at 6am didn't do much to alleviate my symptoms, which now included a swollen right eye (i think the coughing traumatized my eyeballs), cough and no voice. when my alarm went off at quarter to 7, i nudged s & dialed in my boss's number. she didn't answer, so he left a message. then at 8am, when she didn't answer her work line, he called & left a message with another coworker. i really hope the sick one yesterday was there today because we can only afford to have one person off at a time, but i was no use to anyone.
i spent the day surfing the net, flipping channels, napping. i didn't talk until i called s about quarter to five & ask him to bring me some velveeta shells 'n cheese. sounds like something that would slide down smoothly. if i didn't actually have to swallow.
hopefully my voice is back tomorrow. i've skipped enough work in october already (4 days so far).

bigotry

2008-10-25T09:50:00.004-05:00

oh how i love being awakened from s's cozy bed at 2am by the sounds of shouting and an imminent fight outside his house. his bedroom window faces the street, which is more than 5 blocks from the downtown bar scene. somehow 3 friends of his roommates' friends (2 guys & a girl, who i swear are underage, but hey, they let 19 year olds in bars here, so long as they 'don't drink') ended up sitting on the stoop since both roommates, aye indeed everyone in this here house, were asleep at that time.
and lo, the screaming and name-calling and fight-inducing began. not necessarily with the sketchy 'friends' on the stoop, but some other lovely neandertals, one of whom started screaming 'faggot!' and 'pussy!' repeatedly to taunt some other not-so-bright male who happened to be outside.
now as an insult, neither really works. there's nothing wrong with being a faggot, per se (i prefer other words, but meh, i love my gay friends) and perhaps if you, being male, have an issue with pussy & find it an insult, then maybe you are gay yourself. whatcha gonna do?
a number of factors (this not being my house, response time of police, my lack of voice & snotty head due to a nasty cold that is still causing me to hack up phlegm balls this morning) prevented me from opening the window into the 40 degree chill & screaming back at them that they were complete morons & get the hell out of here because i'd called the cops to report a hate crime. s went down in his robe to let the people on the stoop in, but things slowly dissipated after that. (perhaps very large occupier of house coming outside while the two drunk douchebags fight probably brought them enough to their senses to go away or at least move to another vicinity)
and now i'm headed downstairs to dig up some dayquil. pretty sure the random folks are still crashed out on the various furniture down there. yay!

not sure what to post

2008-10-19T21:25:00.003-05:00

i'm a little slacking in blog-life in the past week. not much going on around here. that could be a good thing or a bad thing.
having dinner with s tomorrow night. we haven't been able to do our customary monday night dinner for a couple months since he started working in loss protection. unfortunately, he was laid off on saturday after getting his 60 day review. his boss was told she only had 89 hours to fill each week, including her 40 hours/week, for 4 people. since s had only been there for 2 months, that meant he was the one to go. i guess he can collect unemployment until he gets a new job since he's almost done with the military & won't be getting his monthly check from drill (the one weekend a month training/work they do in national guard) soon. i'll be glad for him to be out, though.

crying at work

2008-10-13T11:40:00.001-05:00

this story made me cry at work:

Amazing Holocaust love story lives on

180 degrees

2008-10-09T17:14:00.003-05:00

i've taken off from work until monday & as of this morning i feel like i've made a 180 degree turn for the better. my arthritis has kicked in because there's less than a week left until my next infusion, but even that isn't getting me down. i'm hoping that this will last for a while. s is also holding me 'captive' at his place to keep an eye on & take care of me. i think i have a case of stockholm syndrome. ;)
resting, relaxing & recuperating after a small surgical procedure yesterday is probably the best thing for me. plus, i desperately needed a mental health day or two after feeling like crap for the whole month of september. (hopefully this won't be a trend since it was last september that i spent in the hospital, too.)
enjoy your weekend, everyone!

loss

2008-10-05T11:05:00.007-05:00

if surgery could cure what ails you, would you do it? especially if it meant possibly losing more than you gain? can losing a part of your physical body actually be considered a "cure"? and how long does the grief last?
lots of questions causing turmoil and no resolution in sight.
i realize this is the opposite of my post from yesterday. it's not that i'm not happy in certain aspects of my life, but other things constantly try to overshadow any contentment that works its way in. i guess maybe i'm being pessimistic. whenever things seem to be going well, something comes & blows it out of the water. why i still don't expect it after all this time, why i go glibly along during the good times & expect that they'll never end is beyond me.
my decision, and my loss, is basically already made, but that doesn't mean my mind doesn't still waffle back and forth over the supposed options.

i'm yours

2008-10-04T17:59:00.003-05:00

still sick, circumstances as to why could be better, but in general i'm pretty happy right now. love is a wonderful thing, but i don't want to jinx it.

i can't get this video to embed, but i'll try to update it later.

update~

needs

2008-10-03T13:38:00.002-05:00

some perspective on the situation. it's too close to have an unbiased view, but wants to avoid any judgment by outside parties.
*sigh*
what to do?

apology

2008-10-01T17:53:00.003-05:00

i've been pretty much unresponsive on a lot of fronts lately. i haven't done laundry in 3 weeks nor have i bought groceries in nearly as long. my carpet needs vacuuming, my bathroom needs cleaning & my dishes need a good bath. but for the past month i haven't felt like i have the energy to do anything, besides go to work & get through the day. the fatigue and abdominal pain has moved to include chest pain. i think i know what's wrong, but don't want to get into the gory details.
so if you're on that list of things i've neglected, i'm sorry. one of these days i hope to wake up & feel better, but until then, it's all i can do to post a couple sentences on the blog.

seeing the positive as a negative

2008-09-30T11:38:00.000-05:00

yuck

2008-09-29T17:39:00.002-05:00

threw up this morning. the doctor told me that my labs from last wednesday were normal & gave me no other suggestions, other than that he might do a flexible sigmoidoscopy instead of a ct scan. just told me to keep in touch about the rest of my symptoms. gee, thanks for the suggestions other than to keep track of my various sicknesses.

still feeling pretty much like sh#t

2008-09-28T09:21:00.000-05:00

just thought you all wanted to know.

frivolous things i would do with a ridiculous amount of money

2008-09-23T20:51:00.004-05:00

after paying off my debts (school loans, car, credit cards), these are the things that i would do with a large sum of cash:

give m $10k or similar sum split up so that she's not taxed & can pay part of her school loans
pay for my bro & his fiancee's honeymoon to hawaii
take mum back to london since she paid for our trip this past spring
buy pops the biggest collection of t-shirts ever (i always get him t's for gifts)
get a good, expensive haircut that i can maintain myself (i only get my haircut 3-4x per year)
host a pizza party (or chipotle) for my coworkers
hire moni & z as my part-time stylists
send random $50 gas cards & lush cards to my friends
visit praha with s. or munchen or roma or amsterdam
go to nyc with b to celebrate our 30th birthdays & see a broadway show
send my folks on a nice trip for their 35th anniversary in 2010
buy the complete discography of bebo norman & matthew west for j
make a significant donation to flood victims at my church
sign a no-strings small business loan to e to start his chiropractic practice
attend a cubs game at wrigley on my first visit to chicago
see an nhl game with my hockey-loving coworkers
decorate a & k's nursery for k iii
self-publish my book

burp

2008-09-22T19:43:00.002-05:00

for the past few weeks i haven't been feeling so well & my appetite has been lacking, as well as having abdominal pain & extreme fatigue in varying degrees. i've lost about 6 or 7 lbs over the last 3 weeks & i'll be seeing my gi doctor tomorrow afternoon. we already ruled out pancreatitis (thank goodness!) last friday when my labs came back normal. now i'm wondering if it's my spleen or could be mono (enlarged spleen is a side effect) because of my crappy immune system. we'll see what the doc comes up with tomorrow.
but today i had more energy than in a long time (not in excess, but more than yesterday) & all i could think of was how good sweet potatoes with marshmallows & stuffing with gravy sounded. so i hoofed it to the grocery store (a 40-minute round trip) to buy the supplies. i just feasted on way more food than my poor stomach could take, but it tasted so good. i kinda want a second helping, but i'm not sure if that's the best idea... maybe in another hour.

the best purple food in the universe

2008-09-20T10:55:00.004-05:00

i'm not generally a fan of purple, in food, clothing or otherwise. admittedly, i loved purple like most little girls, but around 8th grade a 'friend' told me redheads should never wear purple & it sortof ingrained itself into my consciousness. now my only concession is the occasional periwinkle shade in my wardrobe.
but there is one purple food i can eat. my favourite thing ever is pickled beets! and because they aren't exactly easy transport from my parents' 800+ miles away, i rarely ever get to enjoy them. well, i'm planning to change all that by making my first attempt at canning this weekend. i just picked up 2lbs of beets at the farmer's market this morning & i'm going to head to the consignment store later this afternoon to get half a dozen or so half pint jars. i have my great-great grandmother's recipe (i'm not sure if it's the norwegian or english one on my dad's side; leaning towards norwegian-pickled everything!). we shall see how things go tomorrow. i'll try to photodoc my steps & i'm more than happy to share the recipe with the blogosphere.
*fingers crossed* here's hoping they turn out as tasty as i remember!
(and that my entire kitchen is not stained with beet juice!)

giggle for the weekend-unicorns for obama

2008-09-19T19:43:00.005-05:00

my friend n pointed me to this site. i couldn't stop laughing. and, i want to buy at least half a dozen different buttons.

the doctor one. because who doesn't love doogie/nph?

i've always liked banjos.

breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

i'm a natural redhead.

today is talk like a pirate day. arrr!

be sure to go through all 5 pages. you may find the perfect button for you! then, join suzanne's new facebook group, plush animal companions for obama (paco).

bridal update

2008-09-13T19:27:00.003-05:00

so, since i have yet to be asked to be a bridesmaid for my brother's wedding, i found out from my mother this week that i won't be until i go home for christmas. my brother's fiancee wants to wait until she meets me face-to-face. i guess that's okay. better than being shut out entirely.
and today my mother went to whatever wedding shop in our hometown for my fsil (future sis-in-law) to find a gown. she, my mom, not being the fashiony type & whatnot, said it was really fun. i'm afraid the bug has hit her. like every mother, the urge to marry off her children & plan the wedding has struck. perhaps it's only because g lives so close & she knows it's not likely to happen with me, due to distance & whatever other circumstances (you know, not being engaged & wanting to elope).
apparently, after trying on a number of dresses, fsil put on one & just stood there staring in the mirror until she burst into tears. the consensus of my mother & the two bridesmaids present: it was the one. her mother, on the other hand, was less than impressed.
and i guess the prospective, yet not confirmed, bridesmaids' dresses will be strapless, tea-length with a bubble skirt in champagne (colours-champagne, chocolate brown & pink) with a brown sash. i'm rather pleased. when my friend m was trying on wedding dresses when i was in nashville 2 years ago, i decided that i like the champagne colour the best for future reference.
hope everyone's having a great weekend!