Wednesday, July 02, 2008

i hate accuracy

at the chemo center again today for another infusion. two weeks early because i haven't been feeling well for at least that long. and of course i had another allergic reaction. yay hives! it's going on 2.30pm now & i showed up here at 8.30am.
i've also been really emotional & fun-time mood swinging lately. s stopped by to check on me, after he had lunch with the girl he 'dated' before she leaves for australia. he told me that he's always here for me & he cares about me. wtf does that really mean? nothing or everything. he thinks i'm worried about being sick & that's one of the lowest things on my list of priorities of what's upsetting me. yeesh! men!
and check out what my horoscope has to say for today.

Daily Love for July 2, 2008 (Today)
1/20 – 2/18

Daily Flirt:
Little things get under your skin far too easily today, and you should use everything you have to keep from blowing up at one point. Sometimes you just have to let yourself freak out!

Daily Couples:
A problem at home is threatening to derail the happy mood you've worked so hard to establish. Tackle the issue head-on to minimize its impact on your life. You and your partner will soon be back to normal, as if nothing happened.

Daily Singles:
Lately, you've been a tornado of emotions. It's time to better organize your feelings! These mood swings could be an after effect from your tendency to build a wall around your bruised ego instead of nurturing it.

and i can't bring myself to flat out ask him what any of this means (not the horoscope) for fear of getting the same answer he's given the last 5 months & crushing me again entirely.
yeesh! women!

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At 7/2/08, 8:58 PM, Blogger SUEB0B said...

Big hugs.

In my advanced age opinion, I would say that it means that he doesn't want to date you, but that he wants to keep feeling like a nice guy.

At 7/2/08, 9:09 PM, Blogger mar said...

thanks, sue.
it seems like he can't not spend time with me. i try not to be the one begging for his attention, but he asks to see me almost as much as i want to be around him. he made me dinner last night & after my treatment today he picked up chinese food so we could watch a movie. he wants to see me tomorrow.
how can you be so confused about not wanting to be with someone in your life, but seeing them 4 days out of the week? is the only possible answer that we're enabling each other? g-d, i feel so young & old at the same time.

At 7/10/08, 7:31 AM, Blogger mdog said...

he likes hanging out with you but doesn't necessarily want to date you.

guys aren't generally as complicated as we expect them to be.

At 7/10/08, 7:34 AM, Blogger mdog said...

sigh. just scrolled up.

be careful. i worry about you and this.

please go ahead and delete both of these comments.


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