clearing the air

so, on to my emotional spring cleaning. i went back to church today. for the first time in, well, months. and it was good. i hope i can keep it up. i really missed the feeling of being there. (despite the awkwardness i always feel while sharing the peace-where to turn?!? who to shake hands with next?!?)

with that part down, i just need to take control of my insecurities in my relationship. it's not any tangible thing; just me being an idiot & worrying about what could happen, losing s. if anything, i think things are even more amazing between us, but this is all such uncharted territory for me that it scares me sometimes. a lot. and yet, he's still here, telling me he loves me, even when i'm being a complete & total idiot. especially when i'm an unrelenting moron. i guess that should be a sign. i'm such a lucky girl.