Sunday, April 20, 2008

crying hangover

oh, the hyperventilating. and the headache. lord, the headache.
i just spent the last 3 hours crying. s pretty much told me that his feelings for me have faded (as if they hadn't when he originally broke up with me 2 months ago.) he was just more adamant about it this time because i asked some direct questions.
there's still some possibility that this is all ptsd-related, but i can't pin my hopes on that like i kinda had been.
i am so spent. how am i supposed to find someone else i can be that comfortable with? no one has made me feel more like my true self in 29 years.
addendum~and apparently s called my friend m & told her that i was upset & asked if she'd call me to see if i needed to talk. d@mn him! why does he have to go & be nice like that?

it should have been me that made it with you/sadly all my dreams turned blue/it should have been me that made it with you/but that's not your point of view---'blue' the clarks

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6 Comments:

At 4/21/08, 4:35 PM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Oh Mar. I am so sorry to hear this. Just hang in there. I truly believe that there is more than one person out there for all of us.

 
At 4/22/08, 6:05 PM, Blogger SUEB0B said...

I am with Suzanne. But first you have to get the idea of Him off the table. He has told you clearly that he is done. Believe him. Hanging around will just prolong your agony. I have been there before, too. Now is the time to find something new to obsess about and it probably shouldn't be a man. What is something you have been putting off doing, but that you really want to do? Go do that! (In my case, the answer was as simple as "Go to the beach." I went to the beach over and over and over and walked so many miles along the shore that, by the time I was done, I had lost 40 lbs. Srsly).

Hugs, sweet girl.

 
At 4/22/08, 9:06 PM, Blogger mar said...

oh ladies, i know. it's just so much easier said than done to 'forget' him.

 
At 4/25/08, 9:55 AM, Blogger mdog said...

ok somehow i missed ALL this until i read des's blog today [clearly i didn't realize you've been posting regularly].

you know how i do... no pat answers here. i'm sorry things suck right now. :(

 
At 4/26/08, 2:56 PM, Blogger mar said...

thanks, mdog.
as i'm sure you know from tracking, i visit your place regularly.

 
At 4/28/08, 8:08 AM, Blogger mdog said...

hehe. actually i've given up on watching stats. mostly i just check in once in awhile to see what strange google searches bring people to unleashed. :)

 

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