Tuesday, April 15, 2008


thought i'd jot down a quick post before i get going on a before-bed workout. probably not the best thing to get all hyped up just before i need to go to sleep, but at least i'm going to do some sort of exercise. especially after the free chipotle burrito for lunch (860+ calories!?!) and um, the er, milky way i ate after work. derr...
so the general idea of this post is that i need to focus on my well-being: physical, mental, emotional. the workout is obviously the physical side. mental, i'm gonna say is the writing part, even if it is just this dull little blurb at the end of the day. that and the emotional third are the things that are the most difficult to focus on for me. i never in a kajillion years thought that i'd find a physical (however puny) workout would be the "easiest" part of my life. i'm definitely not saying that i'm satisfied with my weight, shape or anything like that, but working out is something i actually enjoy & look forward to doing it as often as i can. when i'm not being terribly lazy on the interwebs.
at this point, i have no idea how to fix or aid the emotional side. that's something that's in disarray solely because of my relational turmoil. little as i've posted, i'm still completely baffled by where i am, where we are, right now. s is no closer to knowing what he wants. yet we see each other at least a couple times a week, dinner, running errands, etc. i don't know if he's just humoring me. he's always been an extremely friendly person, he feels bad about how hurt i am & there's nothing that can change the deep connection we have/had. maybe it's all just habit, spending time with me/comforting me/occasionally sleeping with me that he can't break the cycle. or maybe it's more than that.
i just don't know.

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At 4/17/08, 9:29 PM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Personally, I find that a good workout takes care of my physical, emotional, and mental sides. Nothing like endorphins pumping!

As for the relational turmoil, maybe you should not see him for a week or two, and see how that goes. I don't know that it would make things clearer, but it might. I really feel for your situation.


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