it's getting better; isn't it?

yesterday at work i had such a hard time not tearing up throughout the day. s had to return something i'd left at his apartment (as he said 'these tiny trousers don't fit me!'), so while i was making dinner last night i texted him to see when he was going to drop them off. and if he wanted dinner. so he came over & ate a 3/4 cooked meal. oops!
i asked if he was sure we could actually be friends, since he needs to not be in a relationship right now. he thinks it's fine & i've been having a more difficult time on the days i haven't heard anything from him. i can at least get through the day otherwise. i know that's needy & i'm sorry to admit to all my great friends out there, but he's been the closest friend i've had for the past year. you may think it's weird that we're friends (my mom included) & i don't intend to get my hopes up. i do know he misses me.
of course, he forgot the pants last night. i was gonna grab them after work today & drop off a dvd, but s called & said he'd pick me up since it was 40 below (almost). in the car, i asked him if there was ever any chance he'd want to make out with me again some time in the future. he laughed & said yes. i could've phrased it differently, but asking him if there's a chance for us would've been too difficult to choke out. i don't expect to have him back any time soon, if ever, but we know each other too well to lose this friendship.
i'll try not to post anymore about this, so you don't have to read about it anymore. hopefully i'll have a chance to post from london next week!