just shoot me

my shoulders hurt from the arthritis and it's only been 2 1/2 weeks since my last infusion. next one scheduled for january 22. makes things difficult to do anything in daily life. it set me off to tears this evening. not sobs or anything, just the rolling down your face kind. and i asked s if he'd shoot me, if i went on humira injections. i imagine it's difficult to poke the needle into your own arm (though i 'spose i could ask diabetics with their daily insulin). i don't think i'd want to do it myself every time. and he said, of course he would.
all these drugs for my colitis are originally intended for rheumatoid arthritis, which seems to be my current existing issue. all the gi symptoms have pretty much been in remission for most of the past year. and the remicade doesn't seem to be lasting as long as it's supposed to, the 6-8 weeks between infusions. humira is only weekly or every other week with the injection you can do yourself. it's an option that i need to discuss with my physician(s).
i realize the ups & downs we've had, but i love s so much for being understanding of my medical condition. he told me i'm wonderful & i returned the compliment. he also said we have a pretty symbiotic relationship, don't we? you need me & i need you. i like to think more that we complement each other because i can be completely myself with him. it feels wonderful to not hide any facet or be embarrassed about your flaws. he's always telling me how beautiful i am, how smart, how sexy, how lucky he is.
i'm a lucky girl.
merry christmas to me!
(and you too!)