disowned

i realize it's been over a month since i last posted & i really meant to post something sooner, but work has been hectic and on the weekends we're exhausted.
so my parents were here this weekend, which was great. i enjoyed having them here and it wasn't inordinately stressful like it can be. they got home tonight after their 800 mile trip that started yesterday and called me back to say they'd arrived (since i'd called them a couple times on the home & cell phones). dad told me they'd stopped to see my great aunt ida, his mom's sister who is in her 90s. i knew i shouldn't have asked and i held my tongue for a while as he described their visit. finally, i couldn't hold back anymore and said, "what happened to herman?" they had been married for something like 65 years and when they moved into assisted living it was nice because it was right across the street from the house they'd lived in for 50 years, so they were in the same neighborhood.
dad's response, "herman died in november." and i can hear mom in the background yelling that it was january. january 13.
um, that's more than 6 weeks ago. i had even asked for their address to send them a christmas card. i am so upset.
"we thought we told you" was their response.
'cause that's such a good excuse. i don't live in the same town so i'm not enough a part of the family to even need to know that someone passed away. if they get around to it, then they'll tell me. and this isn't the first time this has happened. relatives die, have babies or get married. and i'm the last to know, like it's my fault i didn't stay 5 miles from where i grew up.
i'm very hurt and i don't even know what i'm supposed to do to fix this. they're more than aware how this makes me feel. i haven't held back before, but apparently it hasn't sunk in to them yet.