appreciation
so in very few posts on her new blog, sullivan has shown that she's wise beyond her 24 years. her comment about losing s's 'conditional affection' versus having his unconditional love sortof struck a chord. everyone has given me such good, thoughtful advice & i appreciate it so much.
thank you suz, des, amo, jackie, suebob, mdog & everyone else, lurking or otherwise in my life. despite this whinging getting me more comments than i've ever had, i really am doing my best to move beyond this & focus on other things. get my life in order, as much as anyone really can. s has to do that too & perhaps we'll be friends once we get to the other side. my new philosophy, & don't take this as a negative, is 'maybe, maybe not'.
posted by mar @ 6:17 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
If he doesn't want to be your friend, then it's (and he's) not worth it. That's the part I know about, sadly.
thus far he still is, but i'm trying to hold him at a distance that's comfortable for me. i'll be there for him if he needs anything & i believe that he'll be here for me.
i do know from experience with the last ex. last year he tried to be friends after completely pushing me away for almost 2 years & it wasn't worth it, knowing it was all about him & what he wanted.
It is interesting that your plight has made me APPRECIATE what I went through because now I feel that my experience was valuable for learning. At the time it didn't feel like it.
When my BF Phil dumped me, I used to have to literally hold the steering wheel so hard I would have white knuckles, just to keep myself from turning left onto the street where his shop was so I could "see how he was doing" or so he could "fix something for me." I would be chanting "keep driving, keep driving" and sweat the whole way until I got out of the danger zone.
So I can understand a bit of what you are feeling and sympathize. It takes time but I really believe it will get better.
i'm glad someone's getting something out of this. and i know i will eventually. i'm doing my best not to be crazy, stalking girl & s even mentioned that i was 'taking it well' by not stalking him. what a compliment!
but i know that i did 'follow' the last ex, albeit online & the rare driveby when i was feeling really down. ugh! sickens me to think of it considering who he is/was.
I like your new philosophy. Going with the flow is good. And I think everyone sort of spies on their exes every once in a while. I just checked out the profile of an ex-boyfriend from 16 years ago on Facebook. It's human nature to want to know what people you used to care about are up to.
Hey mar,
Thanks for the highlight in your post today.
I'll say this... breaking up is hard to do. Personally, i've always had to go cold turkey just to get over it all. Kudos to you if you have the strength to still stay friends. My ex and I have just now, after 5 years, started talking again. And i have to admit - it's kind of nice. We've both moved on and we're both in our own loving relationships. And now we get to share our stories of romance and love.
Hnag in there...
--Sullivan
It's good that you're keeping contact though. My xbf absolutely cut off all contact with me, yet he reads my blog every day, sometimes twice. I'm not sure what else would happen if I still lived in the same city.
And my word verification is padmo.
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