why me? syndrome
so i know lately i've been pretty whiny. all why me? what did i do wrong to deserve this? the man i love fell out of love with me, i've been sick for the past nine years & will be for the rest of my life, finances are rarely on my side. i guess i never could be one of those people who stoically takes her lumps and asks for another, sir.
it's not like everyone hasn't been through some sort of tribulation that seems, whether real or exaggerated, a personal tragedy. the death of a loved one, your car needs repairs at the most inopportune time, illness, work troubles or worse.
tell me, dear (& few) readers, what do you do to pull yourself up by the bootstraps & (re)take control of your life?
posted by mar @ 12:02 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
I've been going through the exact same thing as you lately, with the added bonus of moving to a new state where I have no friends.
Apparently I've been burying myself in jewelry making, because I have cranked out a ton recently. Add that to the sleeping and mindless tv watching. And the constant refreshing of my fave i-net pages.
So yeah, not a lot of excitement in the life of des. I just try not to think about life, because that makes me cry.
i also seem to have taken up your habit of forgetting to eat. i've lost >5 lbs in the last couple weeks.
be glad you have jay. :) and your 'bliends'
There is no magic solution, I think. When things are the bleakest, I try to give thanks the most and I try to be thankful in general. Most of the world would think of me as rich as a king - roof, running water, electricity, car...
But the best advice I ever got was from my journalism prof Scott Brown: Be like a shark. Keep moving forward. He said it about writing but it works for everything. Esther Dyson, internet pioneer said "Keep making different mistakes."
sometimes those mistakes hurt a lot worse than the last one. but sometimes not.
i like the idea to keep moving forward. it's not like i can turn back the clock anyway. and would i, if i even could?
Mar,
I used to suffer terribly from chronic depression, till my fiancee and i started dating. And it's not so much that i found a place in being part of a whole. Rather, i discovered something by being in this relationship that i had never known about depression. The only way to get out is to set new goals and achieve them. Juliet and I set new goals together.. that always helps... but i also learned how to manage it on my own and set personal goals. That sense of accomplishment when you've finished what you started out to do... is an incredible high!
I'm not saying you're depressed. but the theory applies to smaller and larger things alike. When it seems like the rain is pouring down the woes on you, pick one thing, a small thing, that you can set a goal about, and put all your efforts into achieving that goal. it can be as simple as setting "laundry folding" as your goal. Accomplishing it will really give you a sense of completeness. (though folding laundry isn't the most glamorous of goals, LOL)
When the finances are low, make a list of 5 things you could do to make an extra buck. think creatively, it will help lift your spirits.
And when you're dwelling over why he fell out of love with you, just remember that he only released you of his conditional affection. He did you a favor.
And when the imminence of illness is looming over you, just be grateful for every day you get to wake up. Each day is a new opportunity to try to make it better than the last.
Sometimes these things sound silly... but trust me, they work!
good luck to you,
--Sullivan
thanks, sullivan.
i'm a regular listmaker & it's very satisfying to cross off 'fold laundry' (even though that's usually the last thing i get around to on my list).
from my latest post, i've got a bigger goal in mind, finishing the book i started 3 years ago & it feels good to have that possibly within reach.
little goal: 100 word min. daily.
great big huge goal: finish it.
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