Friday, January 21, 2005


everything feels so very repetitive lately. i mean, that's life, right? we get up in the morning, go to work, come home, sleep only to wake up & do it all over again. sometimes it's a bit more complex than that, but not by much.
and even moreso it seems like my blogs are repetitively focused on the same things. i realize i've only been posting for a short while, but a pattern does exist there. and i guess that's a result of the repetition of my life. just this past year is a perfect example. deja vu, really. i took the leap & let myself be vulnerable to another person in a romantic sense. prior to that i'd had an unwritten '3-date rule' (for more on that, feel free to inquire). and with that jump, i felt as wobbly & unsure of myself as any newborn calf/colt/fawn (select your quadriped of choice). my uncertainties appear to have been well-founded as throughout the past year it has been a rollercoaster of ups & downs with this same man. i guess it only goes to show that he's in as precarious a position as i am because it always comes back to the two of us again. i just wish that he could see that the reasons we're apart are not so all-consuming as he makes them out to be.
anyroad, all this to say that recurrence of all these events appear to place me at a crossroads. as my mother so crassly says 'piss or get off the pot' and i'm thinking that new beginnings have to be an improvement on the current situation. slowly getting the feel of the new job, so that's a step in the right direction, anyway.

"I ain't getting any younger no, no, no. Stuck in a rut. And only you could get me out of this place." ---Marc Broussard


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