Friday, February 25, 2005


put up your dukes, people. let's go! so i was browsing as per usual when i see a link about the dukes of hazzard. wow! i loved this show as a child and even later in life, but it's been ages since i've seen it. (that's what you get, not having big cable.) dukes started the year i was born and i'm sure it was in syndication when i have my most vivid memories. john schneider as bo duke was one of my first crushes (along with john ritter on three's company and also *blush* ben 'cooter' jones on the dukes). i think this is where my twisted love of banjo music originates and why my dream car is a '69 dodge charger (though i would willingly settle for anything from '67-'70 as the body is still fairly similar).
anyhow, i digress. what caught my eye was a sweepstakes entry to become 'vice president, cmt dukes of hazzard institute'. i guess cmt is starting to show dukes again in syndication and they are looking for an ardent enthusiast to tout the show over the next year for a 'salary' of $100,000. the requirements are to watch the show 5 days a week on cmt, serve as a media expert & make appearances & interviews, write the dukes blog for & know the words to the theme song (that last one is a cinch. who in their right mind doesn't love waylon jennings' good ol' boys? please!) is it bizarre that i'm entertaining the smallest twinge to actually enter? after all, i am looking for a new 'job', no? ;)

"Just the good ol' boys... Makin' their way, the only way they know how. That's just a little bit more than the law will allow." ---Waylon Jennings

Thursday, February 24, 2005

cover letter

dear employer:
i am writing to introduce myself. not that this company is particularly large, but because you continue to mispronounce my name after three months. it's not really that difficult. i was just wondering why it is that a bachelor's degree was required in the job description when this job could be performed by a semi-talented monkey. i'm supposed to spend five hours each day calling newspapers who have no relationship with us and that's not coldcalling? we're nothing more than glorified telemarketers, albeit with flashy business cards. that should have been the first clue that we were so enamored by that bit of fluff. as it stands, i would like to tender my resignation, as soon as i find something else halfway decent.

employee #41

well, that felt really good, getting that off my chest. all joking aside, i'm in a fairly jovial mood, for whatever reason. writing cover letters isn't my forte. must not be for all the jobs i've gotten with one (read-none). i'd really like to start writing again and have here and there. but it's like exercise or any other thing you make into a habit. you have to remind (or some days force) yourself to do it regularly until it becomes something in your day that you can't live without, can't get by without. pilates has become that for me in the past year. and i certainly have got enough free time to fit in one or two more good habits.

addendum- i am more than slightly peeved. i wrote this over an hour ago, hit publish & received an error. everything i'd written (some of it witty) was gone! grrrr... so this is a sad attempt at a re-write. oh well. i'm going home for the day!

"When people change your life you remember who they are. I’m not saying you were perfect, no one really is. But perfection’s in perception and it’s what you make of it." ---Stephen Kellogg

Wednesday, February 23, 2005


i'm really good at that. sighing, that is. my pensive musings are much too sullen to continue posting here in this vein. i apologize for giving the impression that my life is a mess (sometimes it is) and want to make things better. i've finally got some small amount of closure on my non-existent lovelife and i'll be fine with that. i have to be. and that's okay. maybe i can (re)visit later on.
next tuesday i have an interview in ic, which would be nice for me to be able to work in town & not have to commute. i've heard good things about the company. probably be a decrease somewhat in pay, so i still have to consider my options on moving. i love living close to downtown, but there's really no need when i don't work there anymore. i have two weeks to decide about re-signing my lease. the thought of leaving the place where i've lived the past three years causes a twinge. i don't know if it'd be better, since moving all my junk is such a chore in & of itself. the cost of living elsewhere may not be reduced if it costs an arm and a leg to move. something to consider. i've heard that moving takes years, or maybe it's just months, off your life. the stress of it the last time, i'd certainly believe it. my parents & i, gritting our teeth & arguing over how to lift something or move that box there. oy, i wanted to strangle them. as i'm sure they wanted to throttle me. sometimes i just wish i could live out of a suitcase again, like when i was traveling. you have everything you truly need, all the amenities of life. but then, i love my stuff too much. it's why i've been slowly trying to unclutter my life by sorting through all the junk in my apartment. it's a terribly slow process, but i'm getting there. such is life.

"So if you have to go, go quickly 'Cause I'm waking up from tortured dreams." ---Stephen Kellogg

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

musical queues

last night i saw ingram hill play in the wheelroom at ui. it was a birthday present from my friend amanda. we saw them open for ari hest two years ago at schubas (the night of our freak accident). they were just as incredible live, even better than in the barn-like atmosphere of schuba's backroom. i had met the lead singer that night in chicago & in his sweet southern boy-style, he had pushed his way through the crowd to the merch table & grabbed us copies of their independent release & worked his way back to me, so i wouldn't have to push through the crowd. i knew he wouldn't remember me, but justin came out to sign autographs just as i got to the head of the merch table line last night, so i couldn't resist. i highly recommend you check out their tunes. they were signed to hollywood records last year.
also, oddly i saw one of my fellow cobber alums last night. i hadn't seen erik in almost two years. since i'd been back to f-m for jon's wedding. it was bizarre, but i should've remembered erik has good taste in music. we did spend a month together in europe in 2000. and we still had each other's phone numbers on our cell phones, but thought they weren't active anymore. strange. he lives just an hour away. maybe i'll catch him in town again some time.
so i feel slightly more at peace with just the prospect of looking for another job. it guarantees nothing & it would be ideal to have more than 3 months at any one company, but sometimes things don't work out. all that to say, i'd now say i'm actively looking again. i don't know if there's anything keeping me here, but there's also nowhere in particular i'd like to go unless it means being with one certain person. wish me luck.

"If you ever want to come home from Chicago... I'll be there to await your arrival." ---Ingram Hill

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

job security

so besides not really having any direction in life, what i want to do when i grow up, and all the added drama that has been introduced into my world lately, last night i find out that we now have a quota. this is a nice omen for my imminent sacking. lovely. just what i need right now, being physically ill from stress & not yet under health coverage. admittedly, i dislike my job. it is sales after all. not a big fan, but i'm trying, despite my decided lack of pushiness that seems necessary in a sales-type position. and so the big boss is not pleased with his new sales team. he did manage to singlehandedly run the company while making at least one new newspaper sale per week. what are we doing wrong?
well, i'm looking for something to do. maybe even something i'd enjoy. i guess i was sadly mistaken when this job was described in thinking that i'd like it. i feel very misled. any leads and prayers are welcome. for those of you who know me, what can you see me doing?

"It might be a quarter-life crisis. Or just the stirring in my soul. Either way I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life. Am I living it right?" ---John Mayer

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

quarter year in review

i've been ever-so occupied with the retention of my (hated) job lately there's been no time to post. i had the opportunity to work on my slow-going novel yesterday afternoon. it would be useful if i spent some time on it daily. i hear that's the key to the writing process, doing a little every single day.
so i have my 90 day review coming up soon. and a mini-review with my immediate supervisor tomorrow afternoon. there is some anxiety about how this will go as i seem to be the least active of the sales reps. (wow do i dislike that term, but we all hate it here on the 'sales team') coldcalling. blar! actually, besides being ill & uninsured for the moment, i'm a bit happier at the job these past couple days simply for the fact that i discovered launchcast radio. then i get a wide variety of music & i don't have to keep changing cds on my computer. or even bother dragging them in to the office at all. (no gratuities have been provided to pimp this site; it's just that music makes me so happy.)
i've sortof isolated myself the past couple days as well & wonder if that's something i should continue for at least a bit longer. it's good to be introspective every so often and i think, much as my own emotions are usually pretty close to the surface, i need to look past the superficiality of what I show to everyone else. there's an awful lot more to mull over when you dig deep.
sorry this is so very dull.

"Another postcard with chimpanzees and every one is addressed to me." ---Barenaked Ladies (sorry, this post really needed some randomosity. :D )

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

birth day

today is my birthday. i think this is the most 'attention' i've gotten on my birthday in a long time. moreso than last year, certainly. my own parents didn't call me, which was fine since i was recuperating from the night before and it was the superbowl.
my coworkers bought me some lovely tulips, tons of cards have been received & i've got this whole new car thing on my mind. even went out last friday night with friends who wanted to celebrate my birthday early. things are good. i shouldn't complain and so i won't. there have been times when things have been much worse and there's very little wrong with my life right now beyond one major problem i can see. life is beautiful.
love you guys!

"Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Birthday to Me!"

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